Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

Gee. Where Do I Sign Up?

June 29, 2004 ... 2:47 p.m.

Eibisch: �Knock it off or else!�
Oscar: �Or else what?�
Eibisch: �I�ll skin you alive, make go-go boots out of your hide and dance around to Nancy Sinatra.�

In Philosophy today, our prof recommended Camus� The Stranger. I must�ve made some horrendous gagging noise because she asked if I had read it and if I liked it. Um. No. No, I did not. I told her that and that I kind of placed it in the same vein as Catcher in the Rye. A girl two rows in front of me squealed that that was �such a, like, totally good book� and did I like it?

Yes, I liked it. If by �like�, she actually meant �vehemently loathed with all the passion of the fiery depths of the gaping maw of Hell�.

So, at break, she started giving me a glowing report of that ... book ... I asked her when she had read it because, you know, memories can be clouded. �Oh!� she said �I�ve only read parts!�

Oh! Cram it, you little hussy! Go back to reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar and don�t ever try to make your self look smarter at my expense again..

Today we learned about �Utilitarianism�. The philosophy that, no matter what, you do what is for the greater good. Our prof gave us an example where we�re driving/speeding down a narrow mountain road when, suddenly, we see three children playing jacks in the road. Three choices: swerve into the mountain, swerve off the edge of the mountain or plow through the children. A true utilitarian would sacrifice themselves. It�s simple math--their three lives to yours. We had a heated discussion with the following points brought up: �What if I was rushing to my lab having just discovered the cure for cancer� �What if one of those kids grew up to be Hitler?� �What if I had a prototype car that ran on oxygen?� and on and on. Finally, she decided to ask me and He-Who-Smells-Of-Java what we�d do.

Prof: �And my faborite Party of the Damned (philosophically, I had no problem with Swift�s A Modest Proposal)? What would you do?�
Eibisch: �Depends.�
Prof: �On?
Eibisch: �Well ... are we certain the children would all die?
Prof: �Yes. There is no one to help them. They�re alone and will die.�
Eibisch: �So ... there are no witnesses, then?�
Prof: �Is evil contagious? What if you had 3 people in your car and 1 kid in the road?�
Eibisch: �Hmm. Witnesses.�
Prof: �You saved their lives! They�ll keep the secret!�
Eibisch: �Yes, they will. After I kill them.�

And before y�all start writing me admonishing letters, let me say this ... In real life, there is NO WAY I�d plow into a child. I don�t think anybody could. And, if someone could, I don�t want to know them.

I came home from school early today. I went swimming. Did you know that wasps are drawn to chlorine?

Haha. It�s funny, because I thought they disliked it. But no. Perhaps their hatred of me (it is passed down from generation to generation, you know) is stronger than the fear of imminent drowning. One sat on the top rung of the ladder, just eyeing me, for about 12,000 hours. Probably the April lookout.

Again, damn that Noah and his �two of every species� crap.

Guess who I talked to at school today!! Just guess!!

Yeah, I wish Jade Puget.

::pause for happy Jade thoughts::

Ahem. No, it was Mr. Nastylittletrollman. And, hey, if I�m interested he�s teaching a course on Emily Dickinson for Fall term.

That sound you hear is the joyous chorus of angels sing Handel.

Jade Puget teaching me poetry ... oh, wait. No. That was fantasy intruding upon my reality. Mr. Nastylittletrollman? Emily Dickinson?

I think I had enough the first time, when he crushed my fragile (shut it) ego over the delightful Ms. Dickinson.

Note to Immanuel Kant:
I swear, by all that is holy, the second I perfect my time machine (it will make my ascent to total world domination that much smoother), you shall be eradicated. You ... you ... tedious windbag! You and J.D. Salinger, buh-bye. You have now joined Mr. Salinger, peas and Mr. Know-It-All from Philosophy on my ever-expanding Enemy For Life list. Your fellow philosopher, Camus, is a charter member. Mersault--how I despise thee.

Yours in eager anticipation,
Eibisch

Currently Reading: Lost In A Good Book by Jasper Fforde

Listening To: PWTs
...you�ve got it for a reason, so quit teasin me and make that call...

Have a happy day!

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