Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

I Blame Rivers

September 06, 2003 ... 10:22 p.m.

Bootsie: �I see your lips moving, so I know you�re still taking. The question is why?�

Well. It�s Saturday night. And here I sit. Alone. At home. On my computer. I should be out partying like a drunk monkey--not that that�s EVER happened before--but I�m tired. Football, tailgating and such. It is so exhausting cheering and pulling and intensely willing my team to victory. Especially when the game is down-to-the-wire and could�ve gone any way during the last few seconds of nail biting agony.
But we did manage to pull out the win this time-- UIowa 56 UBuffalo 7.
I mean...whew! Okay. I�m sorry, I shouldn�t be all braggy. Especially considering that next week, we play Iowa State. Yes. They of the multiple hair/gum assaults. Oh, I have learned my lesson. The hair will be neatly tucked under a ball cap. September 13, Iowa State. Think before you toss partially eaten snack foods at me again. I will throw down and you do not want any of this, trust me. I�ll cutchew, man, I�ll cutchew!

Also, I will say this for Buffalo: they will be kicking ass in about 3 years. They can run, they just need to get the bearings playing in Division I. You heard it here first.

So, I�m sitting here downloading Weezer�s entire July 11, 2002 concert from Chicago. The concert. The concert where they play �Butterfly�. Live. Electric. Butterfly.

Rivers messes up the lyrics, but I�m sure had a lot on his mind. Like whether his tie was straight. Or where he could pick up some marshmallows. Or the lyrics of the next song, �Undone�.

...Oh me, me be, Goddamn, I am... So tricky.

Maybe he was just high. Yeah, that could explain why he agreed to do �Butterfly� in the first place. Hmmm...

I just spent about 45 minutes googling for graphing instructions for my calculator. I have a TI-85, but it inexplicably came with instructions for the TI-83. I�ve been putting off all the graphing stuff in Intermediate Algebra but I figured that I might want to, oh, I don�t know, pass the course--so I googled. Responsibility. Gah.

I�ll need it for Chem Lab Tuesday, too. We�re doing a conductivity experiment and we graph the results. I, of course, use the royal �we� because, as I have previously discussed, nobody wants to be my partner. I�m so lonely. *sniff* It�s a lonely existence being smart AND cute.

It�s a good thing Einstein didn�t have the cuteness to overcome. Wherever would we be without the Theory of Relativity?

I�m going to a wake tomorrow. I hate that. Not when people die, no wait--yes, I don�t like people dying. I meant that I hate wakes. They make me uncomfortable (and, yes, it IS all about me), like I�m at the sneak peek for the funeral. I�ve been to more funerals and wakes than I care to recall and it seems like everybody wants to be somewhere else.

Which they probably do. Funeral parlors are, for the most part, not exactly on par with Studio 54.

And I never know what to say. �Gee, they did a great job on So-and-so!� or �Awesome casket!�

I�ve actually used that one. I have so. My Uncle George had an awesome casket. I can�t hardly explain it. The top was a photo of a blue sky with a few clouds and had the Blue Angels in the missing man formation and the casket had all kinds of military insignia and photos and it was so...George. I just found this picture of one. Pretty awesome, huh?

But I never know quite what to say. �Sorry for your loss� seems so trite and predictable. But you don�t want to say the wrong thing. Like when my aunt died. She looked horrible. But you can�t really say that. The way the funeral people made her up...horrible. Cousin#3 called Mom in tears to come fix her mom (my mom�s sister). Mom did a fair amount of damage control but, boy, she did not look like my aunt. Which maybe helped a little. And it�s funny, the things you notice at a time like that. The make-up on my aunt�s hands wasn�t blended well and her necklace was crooked. I fixed those as best I could. Bury my aunt with a crooked necklace? Not on my watch! Or when I lost my friend to a drug overdose. I couldn�t bear to see him lying so still, so I tried not to look. I saw him just before they closed the casket and he looked so tan. That�s what I remember about that time, he was tan and it was Summer and he loved Summer. He looked happy and I�m glad I saw that, but I didn�t know what to say.

I�ll figure it out.

Boy, this took a sharp turn somewhere back Rivers being high.

The scary thing is, the flow makes perfect sense in my head.

Currently Reading: The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

Listening To: Plain White T�s
...I�m sittin here all by myself, just tryin to think of something to do...s

Have a happy day!

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