Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

My Tummy Hurts

June 13, 2004 ... 9:39 p.m.

Grandma: �Eibisch--you are a very strange girl.�

Went to my family reunion yesterday. I�ve been informed that my family is �large�. I don�t know about that. We had ... um ... 36 people there yesterday and we were missing several. Baseball games and such. I had a good time. It�s really fun to see how all the generations grow and who everyone looks like. Example: Chris (my grandma�s great-nephew from her sister) has a new daughter, Hayley (4 mos). She looks a lot like one of Jeff�s (my grandma�s nephew from a brother) sons, Timmy (5 yrs).

So my third cousin looks a lot like my second cousin? Or my second-cousin-twice-removed looks like my second-cousin-once-removed? Or my grandma�s great-great niece looks like my grandma�s great nephew?

Whatever. We don�t care much--we�re all just cousins.

Normally when I go to the reunion, I come away feeling like a loser--no kids, no spouse, no boyfriend, no job, etcetera. But I felt pretty good yesterday. I didn�t leave feeling I need to hurry up and get married and have kids or whatever. Maybe that�s because, this summer, I feel like I have a lot going on--school and all. I don�t know. Next summer, I would at least like for the POTENTIAL to be there. Like, I have been dating someone or I�ve been accepted at a good university or I�m moving. Something with the potential for a whole new direction.

Also, I�d like to win the lottery.

Well. Tomorrow I get my Philosophy midterm exam back. Oy. I am so dreading this. I am so worried. I always do this--I totally freak out over my exams (and, sometimes, homework). Every time. I get this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. And it always turns out fine--but that doesn�t stop me the next time.

Last Summer, I took History. History is my thing, I am an ace at History, but I was practically throwing up the day we got our first big exam back. I�m very serious.

I give myself ulcers for nothing. But I can�t stop it. I�m calm and collected until the second I hand it in. Then I freak out--did I get this right, did I get that right, did I spell my name right ... ohmigod--did I even remember put my name on it??????

Oh well, I shall learn my fate tomorrow. Pray for me.

So, I didn�t get to choose what church/religious service to attend. We drew out of a hat. Which bothers me even more. What Lee said in my notes is true, but I still don�t like it being a requirement.

Maybe I just have deep seeded authority issues. But I�m not going to fail in order to fight the power. Down with The Man and all ... as long as my transcript is pretty.

Oh, so I drew the local Assembly of God church. Which is where my aunt attends and where I was thinking about attending anyway. It makes me look like I got all wound up for nothing.

Damned fate and it�s plot to make me look like a fool.

Like I need the help.

Currently Reading: Lost In A Good Book by Jasper Fforde

Listening To: ...

Have a happy day!

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