Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

The Simple Life 3

May 01, 2004 ... 6:40 p.m.

[slightly drunk]

Ernie: �Don�t look at me so loud!�

The whole gang went out last night. Even H and J, who were back from overseas. It was fun. We started out at Gabe�s then we sh-bopped on over to another bar--where we promptly lost everyone. H, Karie, Jason and I all stayed in the downstairs area. Robin, Murray, J, and the others went to the upstairs bar. Ernie went ... well, I�m not sure where he went. I do know, at one point during the night, he thought he saw P@ris Hilton and followed some poor girl around all night. �She went in that bar! Dudes! P@ris went in there!�

Yeah. He was three sheets to the wind. I actually think he started drinking at breakfast

We split up again because half the group wanted to go to another bar and half wanted to leave before the Iowa City police remembered it was Friday night and they should be out sucking away the life force of anyone having fun.

I did not want to go to this other bar. Frat boy central and, if I wanted to be groped incessantly and against my wishes, I�d have joined the Navy.

Speaking of which, I got a hit the other day from someone in the Navy. Howdy, sailor. Unless it was a girl. In that case--howdy, know any single sailors?

Anyway, we ended up at some place in Tipton. Tipton. But, man, there were a couple of hot guys there. Ay chihuahua! Gorgeous. Of course I, being the only single female in our group, approached the duo. I talked to them for, maybe, 10 seconds. Fun to look at, but dumb as a sack of hair. Isn�t that the way it always goes?

Almost everyone was wasted. Except D. He was the designated driver, because he doesn�t drink. Why wasn�t I designated driver, you ask? Elementary my dears ... I am not a legal driver. Still. I can drive, I drive very well--I just still have not gotten around to getting my license back (damn renew-by-mail certificates). So it would have been just as bad as letting Ernie drive ... wait, no. By the end of the night, he couldn�t remember how to blink.

When I got home (4:36 a.m.--go me!) , Mom had left me a note. But I couldn�t read it--what? It was dark!--so I went to bed.

I had a dream in which Wesley Clark was eating barbeque in my garage and called Robert Duvall on his cell phone so Robert Duvall could persuade me to use margarine made from olive oil.

Yeah. I don�t know, either.

9:30a.m., Bootsie burst into my room and dumped something heavy, warm and wet on me. Since this thing was laughing and saying �Hihihihihihihihi...�, I didn�t immediately fling it into the wall. Because my cat does not speak English, I was forced to open my eyes to see this intrusion ... ahh, Lil JD.

The note said that I should get to bed early because Cousin#1 was dropping his kids off early because this weekend is his bachelor party (run, cuz, RUN) and Ivy is ... well, God only knows what she�s doing. Probably something illegal. Maybe she�ll be in jail and won�t be able to get married.

Then, my other cousins� kids were dropped off. I don�t know why.

We had peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, bananas and chocolate milk. Then we all reconvened to the basement for a pre-nap screening of Brother Bear. Most of them didn�t make through the movie. Wimps.

After nap, we all went to an elementary school playground. Then they all turned on me. They wouldn�t give me a turn on the swings. OR the slide. They were so mean. I just wanted to slide once. Jerks.

Now we only have Brittany and JD.

We shall see if I make it through dinner.

Currently Reading: I got nothing. Damn it.

Listening To: Evanescence--I�m making a cd. Pray for me
......

Have a happy day!

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