Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

The Dress Needs One Prop

January 02, 2004 ... 3:20 p.m.

[watching IOWA kick Florida's ass]

Oscar: �Holy Mary mother of God on a stick!�

I was working on a new layout to put up for the new year. But it was giving me a headache, so I�m not gonna worry about it for a while.

Cursed drop down menus.

On to the resolutions...

1. I have decided that I will force--at gunpoint, if necessary--2004 to be MY year. I am not going to live this year in accordance with others� expectations or opinions. It�s a broad resolution, but it sets up the rest...

2. I will not make plans more than 3 weeks in advance (with the exception of The Dress which was, technically, purchased in 2003 and shouldn�t count, anyway). They never seem to materialize and I don�t want to feel that familiar disappointment again and again.

3. I am not wasting my time on people not worthy of my time. If I email/AIM/phone you and you don�t return said email/AIM/phone call, I ain�t doing it again. Ball�s in your court and if you don�t return it, we�re not playing. Now, I understand if ... say ... you have three little kids and are busy with the new baby. I get that and this would totally not apply to you, but if all you do is sit at home in your pajamas and watch Game Show Network all day and you STILL can�t return my call? Game over.

4. In keeping with #3, I am going to clean out my �buddy list�. It�s a list that lets me know when other people are online, so I can IM them if I so choose. Not gonna have it. If someone wants to message me, THEY can put forth that scintilla of effort.

5. I will not discuss my �ideal� guy or �my future husband�. I will not say things such as �When I get married ...� or �If I get married ...� I�ll find him when I find him or when we�re both ready (or I�ll just learn to revel in spinsterhood) and I�m not going to feel like a loser or a prude because I�m not yet married or I�m not living with someone or because I don�t have a different date every weekend.

6. I will not discuss my �my future children�. I will not say things such as �When I have kids ...� or �My son/daughter ...� I will not mention names I like and I will not discuss adoption or anything else as it pertains to my situation. It makes me a little sad that I don�t have at least one child at my age, but it will happen when/if it happens.

7. I will not worry about anyone else being able (or NOT able) to deal with my Autoimmune Hepatitis (or anything else, for that matter). It�s not contagious, it�s not genetic, I�m the one who gets blood drawn weekly, I�m the one who has to take medication that does almost as much harm as good, I�m the one who has to deal with any future repercussions--which may or may not include a liver transplant. I am dealing with all that (and fairly easily, might I add) and, frankly, I don�t need the added pressure of worrying about what someone else can handle. And, besides, what is it exactly that they would have such a hard time dealing with? What, they don't like needles? Yeah, well, they�re not exactly my idea of stocking stuffers, either--but they are going into MY arm! Suck it up, tough guy.

8. I will not dwell upon my brother�s situation. I want to resolve to not feel guilty or sad about his situation, but that is impossible. He�s been treated horribly and I cannot fault his young mind for protecting itself in the only way it could ... but he is getting to the age now where he must take some responsibility for his actions. But I love the kid and I want the best for him and I want him to have what he needs--I�m just terribly sorry I/we couldn�t provide that.

9. I will not get lower than an �A� in any class I take from here on out. �B+� is NOT satisfactory. I have discussed my dislike of �B� grades before--now I think a �B+� is even worse.

10. I�m going to read a minimum of 1 book each month. I�ll try for two, but now we have a pool and I LOVE to swim. I may not see my mother during the whole of summer, let alone some book.

11. I will read the Bible. Not that I think accomplishing this will create some kind of seismic epiphany in my existence ... but the ability to quote obscure and, possibly, nonsensical passages may come in handy at a party. You just never know.

12. I�m growing my hair long again. I like the wash-and-go aspect of my short hair, but I miss the ability to curl and style my long hair.

13. I will see the Plain White T�s live, before Warped Tour 2004.

14. I will lose the chub that I gain by taking Prednisone. Even if I gain 10 lbs. a month. Even if I gain 30 lbs. a month.

15. I will stop biting my fingernails. Again. Seriously. I mean it this time.

16. I will take a few photos of myself and, hopefully, I won�t look 12.

17. I will try out a new dinner recipe once a week.

18. I will finish making my old toybox into a cedar chest.

19. If I have nothing nice to say, I won�t say anything at all. Except in this journal.

20. I will get those Janet Jackson Fabulicious Abs O� Impossibility. Every year I say that, but I never do it. Since I�ve decided to coerce 2004 into being my year, I WILL have the fabuliciousness. See, before I was always kind of losing weight or doing the crunches or whatever for the benefit of someone who was looking at me. This time it�s for me, since I am the center of the universe. I no longer care what anyone else thinks when they look in my direction and, unless they have x-ray glasses, they aren�t likely to see me or my abs nekkid.

So, there you have them. My resolutions or, as I prefer ...

Rules of Engagement for
Operation: Flog 2004 Into Submission

I was going to add one about a certain Sampson-esque fella, but that would seemingly have conflicted with nos. 2 and 4. Although I�ve concluded it really doesn�t apply to him, because I have decided that he and The Dress must spend some quality time together. And, again, that decision was forged in 2003. How I�m going to manipulate that scenario into an actual occurrence, I do not know. What I do know is that I am walking a fine line in regards to this fella and #2. But, as long as it�s just The Fella and The Dress, I�m okay.

Currently Reading: Raj by Gita Mehta

Listening To: ELV1S: 30 #1s by ELVIS
...a little less conversation, a little more action...

Have a happy day!

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