Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

Now The Janitor Thinks I Am Insane

July 21, 2003 ... 8:34 a.m.

Jens: �Why do crappy things always happen to me?�
Pinball: �Because God hates you.�
Jens: �And why do good things happen to you?�
Pinball: �Because God loves me.�

I wrote this last night, but there was a whiz-banger of a storm and we lost power.

Oh, yeah. That�s right. I said �whiz-banger�.

Anyway, something like 30,000 customers in Iowa and Illinois lost power. The hotel was okay--backup generators and all. Mom said they lost power a dozen times--on, off on, off--before it was completely gone. Our area got power back with a loud *BOOM* at about 8am.

We were pretty worried about my grandparents. My grandma needs oxygen about 70% of the time, but they both need it at night. And, of course, they are hooked up to machines that were powered by electricity. They were okay.

I, however, took complete leave of my senses last night. The power screwed up and the streetlights blacked out and the severe weather sirens began going off. So, naturally, I moved to stare out the large glass lobby/foyer windows.

Apparently, there is something about thunder and lightning which makes me act as moronic as humanly possible.

As I gawked out the windows, I saw two big, nasty looking funnel clouds.

Now.

To the average person, one funnel cloud might have served as a warning. You know--�Look out. That could become a tornado at any second!�

To the denser-than-average person, two funnel should elicit a �Gawwwllly, Jasper! That there funnel cloud might could turn to a tornady.�

To Eibisch, however, this phenomena triggers a much different response. A �Hey Janitor-guy! Let�s go outside!� type of response.

Eibisch, you think, you did not go outside! In a whiz-banger of a storm with funnel clouds everywhere! And talk an innocent 17-year-old who has his whole life ahead of him into doing the same! You didn�t!

Yes. Yes, I did. And it was cool. Until the tornados. Yep, plural. We saw a real skinny on touch down, maybe a � mile south of us. Janitor-guy saw another one touch down, but I only saw it once it had pulled back up. By that time, we had come to our senses and decided that it would be safer inside.

Okay. He decided and dragged my idiot arse with him.

I had a couple of emails asking about my vegan/vegetarian experiment and whether I went back to meat. I did not. Still going strong on the veggie front. I have, however, fallen off the vegan wagon.

It was the altoids. Y�all know that altoids are, basically, Eibisch crack. But they�re made with gelatin, which is an animal product. Horse hooves or something. No-no. And peanut butter M&M�s have that itty bitty chocolate layer. Which is also a vegan no-no. Oh, I suppose I�ll go vegan eventually--I just need to find some good mints.

Big Ass Histoy Exam #1. 93. �A�

Very disappointed with the missing 7 points. Damn essays. Damn subjective essays.

But I do enjoy my class. I�m focusing on the lecture better now that I�m receiving oxygen from both nostrils. Also, I can actually hear through my ears now. It�s amazing what you can accomplish when you�re healthy!

Oscar signed with a different overseas team. Ahh, another year of 3am phone calls. w00t!

I�m glad he found a team he likes so quickly, but Memphis had expressed some interest. �Some�--not �strong�. But still. Memphis.MEMPHIS! I swear, had Oscar gone to Memphis, I would�ve bought season tickets and rented an apartment. MEMPHIS! All I need is an excuse. Even a lame one will do. I kid you not. It makes my head spin to think how quickly I would pack. Would it be in bad taste to bring all my Elvis stuff? Would that be considered gauche? Do I care?

Of course, the point is moot as Oscar will not be heading to Memphis and will, in fact, remain overseas for another season.

Maybe I should work on getting those Janet Jackson abs. But then I think...eh. My stomach is fine. And I�m lazy. Why do I need mucho-defined abs? So I can whip off my shirt the next time I don�t have a cheese grater handy? Is it worth it? Really, what do I care what anyone else thinks of my body? Well the surgery scars bug me, but other than that? Nope.

And I�ll let you in on a little secret--nobody�s perfect.
But there are those of us so close that our only flaws must be visible to the naked eye.

Can I just say how much I love The Ataris and their cover of �Boys of Summer�? Actually, I don�t care who does the song. I love the song. And I really like The Ataris. Serendipity, baby!

I�m at work as I type this up. I�m not actually working. I never work. There�s never work to do. I am beginning to suspect that the only reason they hired me is because I�m so damn cute. Which is, you know, cool. Because I am. Damn cute, that is. That seems as good a reason to hire me as any other. In essence, I get paid to sit here, do nothing and look pretty. I feel just like Captain Gel!

*sigh* Football season. 41 days. *sigh*

Anyway, I just sit here, mess on the computer and keep the lobby tv tuned to Fuse and on �mute� in hopes of seeing AFI more than once a week.

So it�s actually Sunday. Meh. Does the fact that I am posting a Saturday 8 on a Sunday really bother you that much?

Saturday-8: "Sun & Fun"

Do you know how to swim? If so, how old were you when you learned?
Like a fish. I was very young, 2 or 3.

Are you a pool person or a beach person?
Beach, but I love pools.

How hot of temperature outside does it have to be before you are seriously uncomfortable?
Depending on the humidity, 90s or so.

Before you go swimming, can the water be any temperature, around the 70s-80s, or basically bathwater before you will go in?
Pretty much any temperature. I don�t like it ice cold, but I can deal.

Are you a "baby oil & iodine" person, or an SPF 75 sunblock person?
I use sunblock, for all the good it does me..

Have you ever been to a water theme park? If so, which one and did you enjoy? Would you ever go back to one? If not, why?
Oh, Sea World and a bunch of others. I had a good time, so I would go back.

Do you tan or burn, or both? Or are you one of those perpetually WHITE people who never can seem to get or hold onto a tan?
I burn.

When you go to the beach, do you make sandcastles and play in the sand? Do you spend much of your time in the water, or maybe just lying on a beach blanket?
Yes.

Currently Reading: Gettysburg by Newt Gingrich.

Listening To: Plain White T�s
...if I�m gonna do nothing, I might as well do it with you...
he knows how to entice a girl, no?

Have a happy day!

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