Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

I Have Too Much Free Time

May 14, 2003 ... 12:29 p.m.

I Have Too Much Free Time

Bootsie: �Oh, I�m sorry, I must�ve given you the impression I cared."

I am going to the bookstore this afternoon. I really think they should just give us books. I have to get one about a turtle and ribbons or something. Can�t wait to read that. I am nearly salivating with anticipation.

Today is a beautiful, sunny day and I thought I might be in a good mood. But as I woke this morning I realized I was wrong. I am feeling rather irritable today. For no particular reason. Just feeling a bit peevish. I suppose Wednesdays can do that to a person.

Often, �My Summer Girl� by The Rentals can get me into a more laid-back, happy mood. Not today. I had to take it off my playlist because my computer, sensing my mood, kept playing it. Over and over. Gah. Look, Matt, you�re not my type. You�ll never be my type. I get it, okay? [see what I did there? with the lyrics? woo!] SHUT UP with your hooks and melodies and intelligent lyrics designed to make me happy! Let me be cranky in peace, man! I�ll listen to the melodic sweetness tomorrow. I�ll pretend �Please Let That Be You� is really about me. I just need some down time. It�s not forever! It�s just for a little while! Just for tonight!

Ohhhh ...... tonight. Now it all becomes clear. Dawson�s Creek finale. While �finale� is a pleasant word in this context, the episode is two hours long. Two. Hours. That means holing up in my bedroom for two hours, feigning interest in the ribbon turtle or spending that time suppressing my gag reflex.

�My Summer Girl� back on playlist. Serves no purpose, because now I�m listening to Mest. But, whatever.

Got mushrooms last night. My uncle brought them over. He of the owie back. In doing so, he has resumed his place as my favorite uncle. Of course, I only have the one. But, you know, whatever.

I started going vegan Monday. I have never read so many food labels in my life, I tell you what. I�m supposed to be all careful about sugars and wheat, but I�m not. Quite frankly, I don�t care all that much about animal rights. A bet is a bet, that�s all. Although, I am liking the no-dairy. Oh, and honey. Don�t eat honey--it exploits the bees.

Wah. I don�t get that. I understand their issues with hamburger. I mean, they�re right, a cow is not just going to fall apart into beef patties one day. But honey? What is honey, people? Honey is a bee�s waste product. That�s a natural process. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The bees eat honey in the winter so they don�t starve.

Based upon that information alone, and if I actually liked honey, I would eat it non-stop. Kill �em all. They�re horrible creatures and I vehemently despise them.

Yes, I will grant that bees are needed for flowers and pollination. Fine. What purpose do wasps serve?

Damn Noah and �two of every species� crap.

New Survivor. Pearl Islands. Did y�all see the sharks? I have a thing about sharks. Love the Discovery Channel�s Shark Week. And it�s during the humpback whales� migration? Lucky jerks.

When I went to Hawaii, the whales were coming in--mainly into the Maui area. I was so excited, I wanted to see them so badly. I even stared out the window of the plane hoping to see something in the ocean below. Nada. I couldn�t afford the helicopter ride to Maui to see them, either. I was really disappointed and my mom felt bad.

On New Year�s Eve, we went to a luau at Paradise Cove. I was a bit bored, so I was just staring at the ocean and my mom came over to bring me a fresh mai-tai. I turned around to talk to her. She snapped straight up and her eyes got really big. That�s right. Whale. Breaching. 5 seconds I�m not looking at the ocean and the one thing I really wanted to see happens, then just swims away.

So I have to go back to Hawaii so I can see the whales.

I also want to go diving in a shark cage off South Africa or somewhere with Great Whites. Mind you, I will be staying in the cage. I just want to do that. A bit off topic, but though I�d share.

Sharks, whales--I�m already hooked. And it doesn�t start for months. I bet Mark Burnett planned it that way. Not allowing me to see the whales in Hawaii. He could do it. He has more money than God.

Burnett, you magnificent bastard, I read your book!

My sister informed me that, as she happened to catch All Things Rock a few days ago, one of the hosts (who, I understand, are the twins from Good Charlotte) admonished viewers to read liner notes as artists worked diligently to come up with them. Yes. Well. Hmm. I feel as though I have been publicly chastised for not doing something which, by all rights, I need not be concerned with. I consider rebuttal in order.

Note to GC Twin Who Reprimanded Me (you know who you are):

Listen, you�re very cute and all that, but I�m still not reading the liner notes. I empathize with the struggle that you, as a songwriter, must overcome in order to inscribe your appreciation to God, your family, your friends and, possibly, the adorable dog in the video that Much plays every five minutes. Also, if you haven�t thanked Much, you might seriously consider doing so. However, since your liner note scolding might possibly have been aimed directly at me and you could conceivably be reading this right now, I must ask you this: do said liner notes thank me? No? Then perhaps it would behoove you to enlighten me, the known center of the universe, as to any personal benefit I might receive should I entertain your literary notions.

In sincere anticipation,
Eibisch

P.S. �Bloody Valentine�? Brilliant! Anybody who references the delightfully macabre Mr. Poe is aces with me. While I do enjoy The Tell Tale Heart, judging by your oft-lamented high school experience, my personal favorite--The Cask of the Amontillado--may be of more interest to you.

Eibisch wishes to take this opportunity to remind her gentle readers that she, in no way, advocates getting the guy/girl-who-broke-up-with-you-because-you-weren�t-cool-enough drunk, chaining them within your family catacomb/wine cellar and walling them inside their own little tomb for all eternity--no matter how appealing the idea may be.

Currently Reading:
85 Days: The Last Campaign of Robert Kennedy by Jules Witcover

Listening To: Mest
...tell them lies and they will believe you, when you�re honest they will deceive you...

~*~

Have a happy day!

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