Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

Under Pressure

April 21, 2003 ... 12:46 p.m.

Under Pressure

[watching The Ten Commandments, the pestilence/death of firstborn part]
Bootsie: �You just know that was an early form of SARS.�

We�ve been doing a genealogical dig of sorts here. My grandparents gave us all of their old pictures--and I mean old--one of them is of my great-grandpa as a baby with HIS grandmother. It�s neat to go through all the names and notice how many Isabellas we�ve had. With spelling variations, we�ve counted 93 thus far. Although we couldn�t technically include her, my great aunt was named June Isabell. The "a" makes a lot of difference, you know. I�m a dork, leave me alone.

Also we found an old letter that my great-grandmother wrote describing June, who died at one day old, as "a good baby" who had a lot of "black hair". Yes! I knew I wasn�t the milkman�s! She was 1 of 5 (including my grandpa) and all the others were blue-eyed blonds.

Well, that was interesting, eh?

Once again, die familie von Eibisch played Trivial Pursuit.....

[Mom is the question/answer lady]

Q: "What prophetic series, pitting the Tribulation Force against the evil Nicolae Carpathia, has sold over 40 million copies world?"
Eibisch: *spews Mt. Dew in indignation over the question not being mine*
Bootsie: "Um...uh..."
Eibisch: *chokes on answer*
Bootsie: "Um...oh! The Hardy Boys!"
Eibisch: *has aneurysm*
A: "Left Behind."

Q: "What noted Italian author has written such page-turners as Semiotics and the Philosophy of Language and Kant and the Platypus?"
Eibisch: *grumbles about Left Behind question*
Mom: *begins singing �Jeopardy� theme*
Eibisch: "Sophia Loren."
A: "Umberto Eco."
Eibisch: "Ah, yes. Of course, Umberto! He was my second choice."

Q: "What rapper said of using a ghostwriter for his autobiography �I don�t know the right words to word stuff�?"
Bootsie: "Let�s try...Tupac?"
A: "Vanilla Ice"
Bootsie: "I guess, if that�s what they call a rapper."
Eibisch: "Yeah! He couldn�t even find an original bass line for his one hit!"
Mom: "I didn�t write the..."
Bootsie/Eibisch: "Stop! Collaborate and listen. Ice is back with a brand new invention...*both do entire song*...yo man let�s get out of here--word to your mother, ice ice baby."
Mom "Well, that was disturbing."

Q: "What Egyptian structure weighs 17 times as much as the Great Pyramid of Cheops?"
Eibisch: "The Sphinx."
A: "The Aswan High Dam."
Eibisch: "I don�t think that�s right. I�m gonna stick with The Sphinx."

Q: "What fuel does Los Angeles� LAX airport create from leftover food and convert into electricity?"
Bootsie: "Um..."
Mom: "It stinks. Think Mt. Trashmore."
Bootsie: "Coal?"
A: "Methane."
Bootsie: "Huh?"
Eibisch: "You know, methane. It�s what cows belch."
Family: "..."
Eibisch: "And, sometimes, they explode."
Family: "..."
Eibisch: "What? They do!"
Family: "..."
Eibisch: "And sheep, too!"
Le Prince: "Why do you know that?�

Q: "What Asian city lures night owls to a famed red-light district called Patpong?"
Eibisch: "Bangkok."
Mom: "How did you know that?"
Eibisch: "What? I didn�t hear the question."

Q: "What university�s crack genetics team bred the first mice with deliberately enlarged prostates?"
Bootsie: "Sounds like something Texas would do...so I�m gonna say Harvard."
A: "Harvard."

Q: "What Spanish term..."
Eibisch: *bangs head on table*
Q: "Ahem. What Spanish term for �on fire� do ESPN announcers often invoke?"
Eibisch: "En fuego."
Mom: "Yes! See? Spanish class worked!"
Eibisch: "No, Sportscenter worked."

Q: "What Middle Eastern capital curiously bills itself as �the Paris of the Orient�?"
Bootsie: "China."
Eibisch: *starts laughing hysterically*
A: "Beirut."
Eibisch: "Bwahahahahaha ... China! ... hahahahaha ..."
Family: *all staring at Eibisch*
Eibisch: *still laughing and now crying* �... China ... hahaha ... Beirut ... hahaha ... PARIS ... BWAHAHAHA! ..."
Family: *continue staring at Eibisch*
Mom: "She�s going to burst an aneurysm and die."
Eibisch: *still laughing* �... haha ... there was this guy ... hahaha ... and he was a painter ... hahaha ... and he laughed so hard at his painting ... hahaha ... he burst a blood vessel ... hahaha ... and he ... hahaha ... he ... haha ... he DIED ... hahahahaha ..."
Family: *resume staring at Eibisch*
Eibisch: *begins to calm down*
Le Prince: "What is wrong with you?"
Eibisch: *once again in hysterics, falls off chair*

Well. You can�t say you never learn anything here at Eibisch�s.

Good times, good times!

You know...this may be why I�m still single. Hmm...

Currently Reading:
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown

Listening To: Stop by The Plain White T�s
...He's just another little punk like the rest of them, the kid's just another tool...

~*~

Have a happy day!

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