Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

Too Cold To Sleep

January 30, 2004 ... 12:07 a.m.

Oscar: �I�m eating soup with a spork. Cuz I�m a guy and I have no spoons. But it isn�t really even a spork. It�s just the spoon part with no handle and one-and-a-half of those little prong thingys.�

Oscar is sick. He called me at noon. My time. Which either meant he was ill or dead and, even after I heard his voice, I still wasn�t sure. He called to tell me he was sick and wouldn�t be calling me for a few days. But, as he had to put the phone down to revisit his lunch, I think it could have waited. But, you know, whatever. He has the flu.

Hmm.

Do they have that bird flu in Europe?

I hope it�s not that Super Flying Monkey Death Flu� that has mutated and is killing people.

Cripes. Now I�m worried.

And my shiny, unused passport that is stowed away in my sock drawer is just mocking me.

One of my little cousins has strep throat. Which means the other three will have it in short order. And, as my sister has been babysitting said germ packers, I will have it soon.

I just love 2004! It has been oh-so-wonderful!

Really! 2004 has been a many splendored pile of steaming suck.

Would it be possible to go to sleep right now and wake up in 2005? Would that be possible? Without the use of drugs? I�ll get my people on that.

My computer speakers were on the fritz all week and finally just died Tuesday. Not kosher. Because, while the radio station will occasionally play someone like Evanescence, they play Outkast�s �Hey Ya� all the time.

One--I really dislike that song. And two? You shake it like a polaroid, pal. Break down whatever you like, okay? I find your hair bothersome and I�ll not shake anything for you.

Anyway, back to the speakers. This evening, I spliced some wires (that�s right--I can splice) and then affixed the wires to the base using several dozen yards of scotch tape. Because our duct tape? Grew legs and ran away.

Finally, they work. I�m so happy. So, so happy. Alas, I have no one with which to share my joy as Mom and Bootsie are out shopping and Tinker doesn�t seem the least bit interested. I think he�s going deaf, though. Not that that�s relevant. I�m just saying.

Mom and Bootsie come home and I excitedly exclaim that I had gotten my speakers to work. They shrug and Mom hands me a bag. A bag in which there is a box. A box that holds a new set of speakers. And, of course, they are way better than the pieces of crap I was using. So I can�t even use the old ones on some kind of principle.

Yes, yes--it�s very tough being as spoiled as I am.

Note to Captain Gel: So ... SS is leaving. Can't say I�m surprised, whatever the real reasons behind it. But what�s that leave you with? 7 scholarship players, for starters. A 7-foot-tall, 35-lb center who can barely spell his own name and three six-and-half foot forwards. Good strategy, Steve, good strategy!

And, why are you "pretty much in the dark" in this situation. Clue in, Quincy--you're the coach. You should know before the press does. Of course, I suspect you do and are just not being forthcoming, but that is merely my perception.

Let me guess ... you�ll force GB to play center, even though he is undersized for a power forward. Of course, you don�t mind forcing power forwards to play out of position, do you?

And so goes the FIFTH season under you, Mr. Wunderkind. For this we fired the winningest coach in UIowa history? Every time I think it is impossible for me to despise you any more ... you find a way to bring about a whole new level of revulsion. That is where your real talent lies, El Capitan.

Note to Jeff and Greg: Oh guys, I know you wanted to be Hawks so badly. But, guys, think about your future. Seriously. If the coach is removed at the end of the season, do you foresee a quality coach coming in and revitalizing the program in enough time for either of you to get enough exposure/attention for playing at the next level? And if the coach stays ... can you handle another two years of this? Jeff, he has already said he isn�t going to care about your ankles unless he hears them break. What kind of ~~coach~~ person says something like that? Besides, Luke broke his knee, Jared broke his foot, Ryan Hogan didn�t break his knee but it was messed up, Bru breaks his nose for fun, apparently--so when, exactly, is he going to care? And, Greg ... �confidence� is the one thing I refuse to believe you do not have. You may lack scoring, made free throws, assists, an unobstructed airway ... but, no, not confidence. You and I both know SA cannot or does not develop big men. That is not a slight on his character--some coaches are just good at that, like Gene Keady. I�d hate to see you both go, but I�d hate it more to see you end up like past players.

Currently Reading: The Grass Dance by Laurel Johnson

Listening To: WEEZER
...and if you want to try to speak to me again, I�ll be your bestest friend...

Have a happy day!

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