Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

What Is This �Plot� Of Which You Speak?

March 24, 2003 ... 10:19 a.m.

What Is This �Plot� Of Which You Speak?

[2am]
Eibisch: �You...you...you male chauvinist.....tuna!�
Oscar: *silence*
Eibisch: �I couldn�t think of the right word.�
Oscar: �Pig. Male chauvinist pig.�
Eibisch: �Shut up.�

My whole battling-with-Mother-Nature thing? Maybe not the best idea I�ve ever had. It�s all nice and sunny during the day, so I forget that it�s March. And Iowa. And it�s cold. And Iowa sucks. I�m just waiting for some crazy snowstorm in April like last year. Damn snow. Go to...*gasp* Minnesota. I HATE YOU, SNOW! DIE, just DIE! [insert Eibisch mean face]

Ahem

...Aloha oe, aloha oe, ikeona ona noho ikanipo...

Okay. I r e a l l y need to distance myself from Hawaii for a while. It�s just not healthy. Corn, Eibisch. Think corn...and cows...and pigs...and utter boredom...

So, I was up all night, mostly playing Oregon Trail. Because, you know, me and sleep. We�re not friends.

Anyway, in this new version, it�s a lot harder to kill off your people. I shot one guy three times and got a bear to maul him, but he didn�t die until he got crushed by the wagon.

In the olden days, I�d load up the wagon with trailers named after people I did not care for. Then I�d use all our money to buy salt and one ox. We�d die before we ever left Missouri.

Good times, good times.

In other news, EvilJD stopped by today. No. Neither he nor I make it a habit of being in the same general vicinity of one another. But he had a box of photos of us that his pregnant wife told him to get rid of. For some reason, he thought I might enjoy the resalting of my wounds. Actually, there are some nice photos in there. See? This is what gets me about EvilJD. He could�ve just chucked them and I would have been none the wiser. As I�ve mentioned, I don�t hate him. I rather like him still, and that�s part of his evilness. Yeah. I�ll tell you all the details of the Eibisch & EvilJD tumult. Tomorrow. Perhaps I�ll put his photo up. A bad one, though.

I call �Queen of Crapulent Exes� right now.

Had to re-wash my laundry all day yesterday. I used this expensive stuff called Dreft. Mom recommended it. It was all she could use when Bootsie was a baby. Bootsie had uber-sensitive skin.

My uncle called to bitch about his owie back. He has a bulged disc. While I understand this condition is uncomfortable...shut up! Quit bitching! Especially to me! I know from back pain, you weenie.

Back pain is having scoliosis with two 45 degree curves, getting surgery where they cut your back open from your shoulder blades to your tailbone, jerking that spine straight, sucking out some crumbled vertebrae, drilling holes along said spine, jamming a couple of stainless steel rods up it, fusing those rods to the spine with bone chips hacked from your hip, growing nearly 3 inches in six hours and the incision getting infected 2 weeks later.

Now that is back pain, Uncle. Take some Tylenol and shut up.

That might have been a wee bit of an overshare on my part. Sorry.

Le Prince is on Spring break all week. Thankfully, we have finally succeeded in teaching him to ride his bike. Of course, we live on the corner of a very busy street so I can�t just send him outside. He needs supervision. Nuts. I say we just invest in a fence and a strong tether.

Oh, for...like I�d really tether my brother up outside! People call the cops for things like that! That�s why we have a basement!

People. I only have three of the dozen or so children that will arrive by noon. I am already on cuteness overload. They are so cute my teeth hurt. TheCuteBaby, who shall henceforth be known as Michaela, and Baby Abby are here.

All the other cuties will be arriving within a few hours. The older kids will probably want to play outside, which is Bootsie territory. I get to stay inside with the under-3 crowd. Yay! Par-TAY at das haus von Eibisch!

Currently Reading:
The Dante Club by Matthew Pearl

Listening To: Plain White T�s
...You say I'm going nowhere and that's what makes me keep dreamin'...

~*~

Have a happy day!

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