Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

Eibisch FAQ, Take 2

October 11, 2002 ... 2:04 p.m.

Eibisch FAQ, Take 2

Okay. Time for Eibisch FAQ #2.

11. What are you trying to accomplish with your journal?
Well, like I said before, I mostly like the temporary escapism. I also originally thought this was an interesting way that my online pals could get to know me a little.

12. Do you care if people you really know read this?
No, I don't think so. I�m the most computer savvy of my friends and family (scary, huh?), so I don�t think any of them even know there is an online diarist community. One of my rl friends did stumble in, but I had accidentally let some hints escape. She lives in Kentucky now. I don�t think I want my sister or mom reading it, though. It�d be just too much not to have one outlet.

13. Why do you hate snow? It�s fun!/It�s pretty!
Yeah, it�s pretty. For about 3 minutes after it falls it�s all �Currier & Ives.� And then it turns dirty and slushy and it�s cold and wet and a lot of the time it�s heavy. Why do you think people literally die while shoveling snow? As for �fun�? Okay, yeah, snowball fights and snowmen are fun. But so is Waikiki.

14. I get the whole pseudonym thing, but why are your cousins just numbers? How many are there?
Hmmm. Good question. It�s just easier to for me to keep them straight. I�ll give you a quick rundown.
Cousin #1--31, male, single (living with gf), father to Brittany (aka The Smart One--who is not smart)
Cousin #2--30, male, single, UBER Christian (he makes Billy Graham look like Howard Stern)
Cousin #3--27, female, married, recently gave up �Evil Witch� persona/born again Christian
Cousin #4, 23, female, married, mom to Michaela (aka TheCuteBaby--who is cute), 1 on the way, uber Christian
Cousin #5, 23, female, possibly engaged (been engaged 5 times to four men in the last 2 years), professes to be very Christian, extremely two-faced

Got it? They are my maternal cousins and they are all tall, blue-eyed and blond. I kid you not.

15. What�s up with your dad? You never talk about him.
I think I have mentioned him. My parents divorced when I was young. My father has not been a figure in my life, by his choice. Um...I did get my brown eyes from him.

16. Do you come across in person as you do in your journal?/Is your journal an accurate representation of you personally?
Uhh...another good one. I think it�s fairly accurate. That�s a cop-out, isn�t it? I think the last few entries had a tad more snarkiness than most of my previous entries. That is definitely more me. I can be quite snarky. I guess I�m still a little inhibited by the fact that some people who read my journal might be a little more judgmental....or something. Not like �You�ll burn in Hell� judgmental. More like �I don�t want to be your friend anymore, freak� judgmental.

17. What are the differences from your journal and real life?
I rarely swear in rl and I try not to do it much in my journal. Oh, I do swear once in a while, I won�t lie. I haven�t had a good one in forever but, man, I love Mai-Tais. Um...what else? I talk a lot in rl. A. LOT. And the amount of my writing doesn�t begin to approach the amount of time I spend chattering. I don�t think I�m quite as goody-goody as I can come off in the journal. Maybe I just like to think I�m not.

Eh. I�m tired of questions now. Oh, I totally scared the crap out of my sister yesterday morning.

WARNING: the next section contains writing and visual imagery that may not be appropriate for younger or squeamish readers.

I didn�t have to work, but I got up early anyway. Our bathroom has linoleum tile. Well, there was a bunch of water on the floor and I slipped and smacked my left hand on a metal chair (actually, a step-stool). Um. Ow. I jerked my hand from the offending chair and...blood. Everywhere. On me, on the floor, on the chair, all over. Pouring from my thumb. I calmly call out �Bootsie? I need a rag.�

See, I�m totally calm in these kind of situations. (Someday I�ll tell you about fracturing my nose with a French Horn. Seriously.)
Wasps in my window = panic.
Bodily injury = no sweat.

Anyway, she came in to see what the problem was. I lifted my hand, with blood streaming down my arm and she freaked. She kept saying �Oh God. Oh God.� over and over and telling me not to panic. I was like what? I was just sitting there waiting for a rag, not panicking. Couldn�t see what happened, because I couldn�t get it to stop bleeding long enough. To get it to stop I had to fix a rubber band around the base of my thumb, like a tourniquet. I am so MacGyver. Put on three band-aids. Took off the rubber band. Bled through the band-aids.

Now you might think I would have thought to go to the hospital. Because, much like Tim �The Tool Man� Taylor, I have my own room in the ER. But, no. My sister wanted to take me. I scoffed. Yes, I actually scoffed and proceeded to inform her that �It�s only a flesh wound.�

Ah ha ha ha ha! Flesh wound! Monty Python! Ah ha ha ha ha! Nee!

Ahem. Okay. Put the rubber band back on and leave it on. Put on two band-aids. Problem solved! When mom comes home I show her my now black thumb (Yes, I remembered to take off the rubber band! It bruised.) and pulled off the band-aids. Finally, I could see what had happened. Ripped a �U� shaped section in my thumb and, somehow, managed to puncture it. I don�t know how. I don�t know on what, but that puncture must have been why it bled so much. It looks nasty. Actually, it looks oddly like a Nike swoosh.

Damn Nike and their corporate sponsorship greed!

Mom said I probably needed a couple of stitches, especially since I resorted to using a rubber band, and should've gone to the hospital.

Good times!

Football tomorrow. ESPN. 11:00 am (CST). Michigan State. Watch us kick ass! Watch our kicker! We have an awesome kicker, he�s made something like 13 consecutive field goals. And has made field goals from 50+ yards.

Basketball tonight. 11:35 pm. Local. Woo. First practice. Hey! You know how I hate Captain Gel? And his �when I went to Indiana� shtick? The Hawkeye uniforms, in an effort to strengthen team unity, will no longer have the player�s last names on them.

Never had a problem with team unity Pre-Captain Gel. Even with last names on the jerseys. But, whatever.

Oh! You know what I just realized? Only one other Big Ten team does the no-last name thing. Guess who? That�s right. Indiana! You could�ve knocked me over with a feather when I heard Captain Gel was taking a page out of Indian�s book. Did not see that one coming! Nope. No sirree, Bob. Not by a long shot. I mean, Indiana. Wow.

Are you getting my sarcasm? Because I�m laying it on pretty thick.

Currently Reading: The Memoirs of Cleopatra by Margaret George

Listening To: The Best of Tommy James and the Shondelles According To Eibisch (you're nobody until you have a �Best Of...According to Eibisch!)

~*~

Have a happy day!

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