Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

Maybe I Complain To Much

October 2002 ... 11:05 p.m.

Maybe I Complain To Much

Eh.

Do you know why television has censors?
Do you know why there is a magazine called �Rolling Stone�?
Do you know why there is a network called MTV?

ELVIS is why!

That�s right!

Before anyone did anything, ELVIS did everything!

I love that commercial.

Speaking of Elvis.......

My friend, Robin, is perpetually trying to hook me up. Always with the �I work with this guy...� lines. Well, a group of us got together at the IHOP.

Yay, it�s open! Yay!

Anyway, Robin brought some people from work, including �Dave.� Dave was not bad looking. I mean, we�re not talking Jon Seda or anything, but he was okay. But then he spoke. First off he says he can see why Robin hangs with me--I make her look good. Whoa there, Nelly! Okay first, I am so cute I can barely stand myself sometimes. And I�m modest. Secondly, yeah okay--most of my girl friends are 5�8� or taller and blue-eyed blonds. So is my sister. So what? Maybe I hang with them because they make me look better! Think about it. Who stands out more? Hmm? 10 blond, blue-eyed 5�8� or the 5�3� gal with the atypical black hair? Eh? Who are you gonna notice? Me or the Fembots?

Never mind.

ANYway, the whole almost-3 hours we�re all there, Dave is rude and insulting to everyone--not just me. I just held my tongue. I don�t have a clue why Robin thought I would want to spend any time with this guy. She must mentioned setting us up because, at the end of dinner, he leaned over the table and said [verbatim] �I wouldn�t date you if you were the last woman on the planet. I�d rather date my cousin.�

Oh, bite me. What a jerk.

When he sat back down with a self-congratulatory smirk on his face, I leaned over and said �That�s okay, I�d rather wait for Elvis to rise from the dead. [Dave starts to say something, but I continue] In essence, I�d prefer a 25-year-old rotting corpse to you.�

Smile sweetly. Sit back down. Enjoy stunned look on Dave�s face. 10 for execution.

Why, yes. I DO Rock!

Maybe I shouldn�t have said that. I may have been to harsh. I might have deeply hurt his feelings. I might have emotionally traumatized him.

I�ll let you know if I lose any sleep over it.

More basketball rumors. Someone in academic trouble. Former player in trouble. Someone possibly transferring out. I do know whether someone is leaving, but I shouldn�t really say one way or the other. Neither confirm nor deny.

So, have you been keeping up with the A l f o r d Era Casualty list? Let�s not mention all the players who transferred, quit or were removed from the team since Captain Gel came aboard. Let�s not talk about the shoddy public treatment some players have received. Let�s not talk about intentionally ignored injuries that could or did lead to more serious injuries. Let�s not talk about the names he has called certain players in the media. Let�s not talk about his �Bobby Knight Lite� behaviors. Let�s not talk about the many idiotic and embarrassing things he does or says every time he gets on tv. Got a wee bit carried away there. Let�s just stick with the 2002-2003 season, shall we? The season that hasn't even begun yet! Okay.

-incoming junior leaves
-big time redshirt freshman leaves
-big time freshman recruit leaves
-incoming junior (did have five) busted for possession of marijuana.
-incoming junior ticketed for underage alcohol possession. I feel compelled to add that, by most accounts, the beer was not his. But, in Iowa City, you can be charged if you are within arm�s length.
-redshirt freshman ruled academically ineligible
-heavily recruited incoming freshman academically ineligible
-major sophomore contributor charged with sexual assault.

That�s all the big stuff...for now. I could tell you all the little (and not so little) things but I just get so mad. And the Athletic Director is firmly in Captain Gel�s corner. What?!?!? You kicked out the winningest coach in Iowa bball history after 13 seasons, a coach who brought nothing but class and grace to this program and who built a solid foundation of players who learned the basics of the game and worked their butts off each and every game. So what if they weren�t blue chips? I�ll still take Ryan Bowen over Raef LaFrentz any day of the week!

And again with the getting carried away!

You can�t tell I�m really into basketball, can you?

During the IOWA and Purdue football game........

[camera pans crowd, zooms in on Dave Grohl look-alike]

Eibisch: Why is Dave Grohl wearing an Iowa t-shirt?
Bootsie: *rolls eyes*
Eibisch: Because he has good taste in football! Yeah, baby!
Bootsie & Eibisch: *hysterical laughter*

several minutes of uncontrollable laughter later

Mom: Just how much Mountain Dew have you had today?

Good times, good times

Don�t worry. Another Eibisch FAQ is on the way.

Currently Reading: The Memoirs of Cleopatra by Margaret George

Listening To: Bee Gees: One Night Only (I keep telling you all that I�m a dork, why are you so surprised?)

~*~

Have a happy day!

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