Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

Coherent Or Not--Sometimes You Just Gotta Update

January 11, 2004 ... 10:56 p.m.

[watching American Pie]

*Michelle* �This one time ... at band camp...�
Eibisch: *snorts*
Bootsie: �Didn�t you have fun at band camp?�
Eibisch: �The most fun I had at band camp was when a dj came and played Phil Collins all night and I rolled around in poison ivy.�

True story!

I've been breaking my resolutions left and right today. Why do I even bother? Sheesh.

Oh, well--back in the saddle.

Went to church today. I actually enjoy church. And my church? Takes a while. Usually around 3 hours. That�s right. I like the fellowship a lot and, I won�t lie, sometimes I wish it didn�t take so long. Not like I have a hot date, Orlando Bloom most likely does not have me on speed dial (but, hey, ANYTHING is possible) or anything like that .. it�s just ...

Oh, like this one time I went into gospel principles (Sunday school-ish) and everybody was on the opposite side of the room, which kind of weirded me out, but I was a tad late so I just sat down. Then an older gentleman came in and sat next to me. He was nice, but he didn�t speak English very well and kept asking me to translate or, rather, explain as I don�t speak Arabic. Which I did, because I�m good at that kind of thing.

It�s a gift.

He asked for my phone number. How could I not give it to him? He wanted my help and I�m a doormat in that I rarely say �no�.

Well, I do say �no� to things, I just don�t want to seem rude.

And he kind of cornered me, just talking about this and that, and I tried to leave the room politely several times. This man does not take a hint. Finally, one of the other men told him I had to go to another class and I escaped.

Then the phone calls started. At least four a day. People! My family won�t let me talk to telemarketers, because I feel bad for interrupting them or--God forbid--hanging up on them. How was I going to be rude to this guy?

Another reason I felt bad about sometimes avoiding him is that he was never forward or anything like that--he was just overbearing. Eventually, he stopped coming to church so I don�t feel like such a jackass. Or I didn�t until I rehashed it for my journal.

And, of course, this story really has nothing to do with the length of church.

So I have some problems tying things together, leave me alone.

I have to scrub my bathroom tomorrow. I don�t mind that chore, possibly because this is an all-female household. I lived with Cousin#1 for a short while ... gah! Apparently, he is severely allergic to clean.

The shower--dear Lord--the shower!

One day I decided to scrub that bathroom. I couldn�t stand it--it was scary. You can only keep the lights off, and pray nothing starts growing on you while you pee, for so long. Anyway, the shower was full of hair this day. I�m not even going to postulate on it�s origins, but it was there and I was going to clean it. I got out a crucifix and started sprinkling the tub in holy water ... no, wait--that�s The Exorcist.

Okay, so I was all prepared to clean when one hairball moves. Yes, it did. It began moving menacingly, and relentlessly, toward me. And then, and only then, did I realize that it was ...

THE BIGGEST DADDY-LONG-LEGS SPIDER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD

Not to put to fine a point on it.

So, yeah, that creeped me out, but I learned that Daddy-Long-Legs do not swim well. In undiluted Pine-Sol. But I�m okay with cleaning bathrooms, I like to dust, I like doing dishes. You want to know what house chore I detest? Vacuuming. Hate it. Don�t know why, I just detest it.

I�m not making a lot of sense, am I? I think I�m getting tired. This afternoon, not only did I confuse two countries, I confused two continents.

Cripes.

Say Goodnight, Gracie.

Note to Captain Gel: You. Suck. So. Much. It. Hurts. My. Teeth.

UIowa 68
Northfreakin�western 77

Currently Reading: The Grass Dance by Laurel Johnson

Listening To: Under The Table & Dreaming by Dave Matthews Band
...I will wait for you, I will wait for no one but you...
I love this cd, it�s just so good.

Have a happy day!

7 ... 8