Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

Whether You�re A Brother Or Whether You�re A Brother...

May 07, 2003 ... 6:56 p.m.

Whether You�re A Brother Or Whether You�re A Brother...

Jason: �Don�t you have a life?"
Eibisch: �I�m 26 and I live with my mother, what�re you thinking?�

It was really not very nice today. Apparently, there is an obvious and direct correlation between my mood and my access to sunshine.

I hate the beginning of May in Iowa. It�s either gorgeous or crappy. Too much of the latter and not enough of the former. I guess I�m just not happy unless it�s sunny, lightly breezy and in the 80�s. And Hawaii.

My grandpa gave me his record player. Score! He built it into a cabinet and it�s about 5� feet long and 3 feet tall. It�s in near-pristine condition. And...AND...and it has an 8 track player.

I could die of happiness.

I have all kinds of Elvis, disco and oldies 8 tracks that I can finally listen to. HEE!

I also got their 2-year-old queen-size guestroom bed. Yay! No more falling out of bed for me!

I know. Yeah, right. That just means I�ll have farther to roll.

Oh, and I got their tv, too. It�s big and bulky, so I�m just gonna leave it in our basement for a while. Or maybe I�ll let Bootsie take it to ...*mumbling expletives*... Bettendorf when she moves, but probably not.

It�s Wednesday. Wednesdays at das haus von Eibisch have a yin and yang thing going on. Fraternity Life twins--Alex and, to a lesser extent, Adam.
[note to MTV: Less �Flounder�, more Adam].
But first I must sit through an hour of Dawson�s Creek.

Can I just say Dawson�s Creek? Worst show ever. EVER.Bootsie is obsessed with this show. Every week for five years. If I wasn�t forced to view it, I was regaled with all the intricacies, character quirks and plot twists. Don�t watch it. Don�t view it in syndication. I will save you the mind-numbing monotony and sum it all up for you in a few paragraphs.

There are four main characters; BrunetteChick, BlondChick, BrunetteBoy and BlondBoy. They all live somewhere near water. It�s exact geographical location is not important. It is only necessary to note their proximity to the water in order to understand the prevalence of boats, bikinis and slinky tops. Also, they climb in and out of each other�s bedroom windows and compare their lives to various PG-13 movies that they watch in BlondBoy�s bedroom.

The brunette chick is a self-absorbed, self-righteous, whining twit. Who does she love this week? BlondBoy - BrunetteBoy - BlondBoy - BrunetteBoy. Oh, the suspense! Whoever will she choose? WHO CARES? IT DOESN�T MATTER! Whoever the lucky guy is, he�ll end up miserable and probably kill himself by setting himself on fire, thereby finding a less painful way to die than by living out his remaining days with Droopy the Wonder Pup.

The blonde chick is only slightly better. The slutty girl with a good heart. Aww...puke. Let�s see if I�ve got this...she sleeps with BrunetteBoy, but pines for BlondBoy who has a very annoying jawline, receding hairline and does crappy movies with really bad southern accents? What a catch. Oh, she also has a grandmother.

BlondBoy is pretty much BrunetteChick, with a Y chromosome. Whatever he happens to be angsting over in any given episode, he almost assuredly did to one of his friend in last month�s episode. Which sets us up for an hour of why-me?-I-can-do-that-to-others-and-it�s-okay-but-it�s-wrong-to-do-it-to-me-because-I�m-the-star-of-the-show-and-I'm-SENSITIVE-and-I�ve-got-blond-and-somewhat-fluffy-hair-which-is-supposed-to-intimate-my-SENSITIVE-artistic-vulnerability-and-small-town-na�vet�-even-though-I-experimented-with-an-unfortunate-length-in-the-third-season-and-if-that-isn�t-enough-to-draw-you-to-me-my-dad-who-never-really-understood-me-because-I-am-a-SENSITIVE-artiste-and-he-was-a-football-coach-died-in-a-head-on-collision-and-I-got-drunk-and-blamed-everybody-and-their-brother-but-they-still-love-me-because-I�m-SENSITIVE-so-you-should-too crapola.

Then there�s BrunetteBoy, the unabashed he-slut. With the obligatory heart of gold. He lost his virginity to a teacher. His sister fell in love with Mr. Angsty-pants BlondBoy--who, in any given episode, may or may not be BrunetteBoy�s best friend. Things were going good but BrunetteBoy, who became a stockbroker without a degree through what passes as plausible on the WB network--a drunken brawl over a prostitute in New Orleans during Mardi Gras, just lost BlondBoy�s life savings after putting it all into stock for a �SURE THING�. Obviously, said �SURE THING� fell through, as �SURE THINGS� on hour long dramas inevitably do, and BrunetteBoy was blindsided. He might not have been had he, you know, listened to the announcement rather than boink his girlfriend of the moment who has 83 boyfriends and a fiance�. But, you know, whatever. Reap what you sow, pal. Oh, and BrunetteBoy has familial issues as well. He is the disappointment in a family of cops and tough guys. And, for five seasons, he has constantly and not-so-cleverly chided his older, straight brother about actually being a homosexual.

But, will wonders never cease, said brother IS gay and comes out just in time to get some sweet man-loving from the TokenGayGuy (whose character was made gay apparently because the writers wanted to be groundbreaking and/or didn�t want to screw up their tedious love-square and the only other recurring female character was TokenGayGuy�s sister, but the show didn�t want to be THAT groundbreaking) and raise the BlondChick�s spawn after she drops dead from something or other. I�m thinking SARS.

By the way, TokenGayGuy�s sister is also BrunetteBoy�s CrazyAssExGirlfriend.

Somewhere along the way there is mystery, romance, betrayal and drama.
Of course, it�s on HBO.

Currently Reading:
A book of Edgar Allan Poe that I can�t find a link for

Listening To: Mest
...and I never would've guessed that you mean so much to me but those brown eyes drove me crazy...

~*~

Have a happy day!

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