Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

Give me Mountain Dew or give me...oh, just give me the darn soda!

January 11, 2002 ... 5:26 p.m.

I'm still happy Ethan won. I know he's Jewish, but that's okay. I could convert. I think he's a vegetarian, but that's okay too. I won't make you eat ribs if you don't make me eat peas. I really hate peas.

Ethan...call me.

This morning, at 2:35 am, I rolled out of bed. Onto the floor. Hitting my head on my nightstand. Necessitating a trip to the ER for 8 stitches.

Once, when I was in high school, I rolled over into the edge of my wall mirror. With my mouth open. I just rolled over and was going to go back to sleep, but a pool of blood was forming in my mouth.

I weighed the options:
stay in warm bed and asphyxiate from my own blood
-or-
go to the cold bathroom and see what was wrong.

Eventually, I got up and looked and saw nothing. Gargled with saltwater. Can I just say ouch? Finally, I see the problem. I cut my gum, right over my front tooth. I needed a better look, so I got a toothpick and lifted the flap of gum. I saw the top part of my tooth. Ewww.

But I just went back to bed with a package of frozen broccoli for the swelling. I couldn't talk right for a week.

I think my bed hates me.

I haven't had any Mt. Dew in two days. I'm in withdrawal. I was trying to cut down, calorie-wise.

I am giving up, though.

There should be a patch for this.

I am so grabbing a Big Slam for dinner.

Oh, sweet Dew, I shall never again forsake you.

If I was on Survivor and they had the food auction, I would spend everything I had on a nice, cold Dew. If another contestant outbid me, I would wait until we got back to camp and, with the smell of freshly consumed Dew still lingering in the air, punch them in the stomach.

And then they would vote me off, but I wouldn't care because I would have access to vending mchines.

Vending machines with soda.

Vending machines with Mt. Dew

See? It would all work out in the end!

~*~

Have a happy day!

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