Snow Day
January 05, 2005 ... 3:10 p.m.
Mom: “I can’t find any Mr Goodbars! Who ate all the MR. GOODBARS? I CAN’T FIND ANY &@#(^%$ MR. GOODBARS! ... oh, here’s some...”
I wrote this entry this morning.
Ear infection. The only way to start the new year. If you’re Eibisch, that is. Such tribulation.
It’s clearing up now and seems to be almost gone. Famous last words, I’m sure, because today is a city wide snow day and I’ll be outside. The neighborhood kids are so excited, it’s really amusing. Apparently, they forget what “snow” is and that we get it every year. Kids are funny. One of the boys already asked to “borrow” our snow -- for when his yard has been trampled and mucked up.
Maybe I won’t stay out too long. I really don’t want to tempt fate, I still can’t use antibiotics because my liver has tissue damage from the Great Ear Infection of Aught Three and ensuing Zithromax O’Doom and I’d like to keep my liver. It’s a strange little quirk of mine.
It’s almost 8:30 and Mom’s at work and Bootsie is asleep. She should be out shoveling, it’s her job.
HEY! I clean out the catboxes! We have one cat and yet, there are two boxes -- first floor and basement. Yeah he’s spoiled, but he’s old and we don’t want him climbing stairs constantly, because he makes a big show out of dragging himself up the stairs, like he’s climbing Everest with no oxygen. He’s a very dramatic cat. Plus, he pees. A lot. I clean those bad boys and still he hates me.
Anyway ... snow. We live in a friendly neighborhood. It is an oddly competitive neighborhood, though nobody gets worked up over sports or politics. No. They shovel. Weapons of choice? Industrial sized snowblowers. About 2am, the garages open and lights pour out onto the cul-de-sac. Radios are turned on and tuned to the same country station. The blowers are started and it’s ON!! The winner clears the most snow from their neighbors homes.
I am not kidding. It is a block party. If it continues to snow and they see someone out shoveling, they rush to their “aid” by making them stop and go inside, so they can win.
Of course, I make them cupcakes for their obsession trouble. I’m a pretty good cook. A very messy one. But a good one, nonetheless.
Did y’all see my Hawkeyes in the Capitol One Bowl? If not you missed an AMAZING game and you should be ashamed of yourself.
#12 LSU (defending national champs) xs. #11 UIOWA.
We get a bajillion holding calls and penalties and they never get called for anything and Vegas says LSU by 22.
Like HA! As if!
They have to triple team one of our defensive linemen. And we still get 5 sacks, 2 blocked punts and interception and break up both of their two-point conversions. We lead all game. All game.
Until.
They march down to our 3 with :50 seconds left in the game. :46 left -- Touchdown LSU. Score -- LSU 25, UIOWA 24. Matt Roth sacks their quarter back on their conversion attempt. Snerk. LSU goes nuts, anyway. Dancing, jumping, cheering and congratulating one another on their fifth 4th-quarter-come-from-behind victory. They jeer at us, pointing fingers and making fun. Oh, it’s grating.
And now I’ll turn you over to our radio commentators, Gary Dolphin and Ed Podolak.
JaMarcus Allan - LSU quarterback, Drew Tate - our quarterback, Schlicher - our kicker, Belleus - kick returner, Eddie Hinkel - our go-to receiver. Got it? Here we go ...
Gary: "So here we go. 46 seconds to play. LSU 25, Iowa 24. Iowa has two timeouts wand 46 seconds to get down field for Kyle Schlicher."
Ed: "Hey, I like it. You know? We’ve, well, we’ve won a number of games by two points this year, didn’t we?"
Gary: "Why not another one?"
Ed: "A field goal win?"
Gary: "LSU with four 4th quarter comebacks, trying to make it five. My goodness, what a football game!"
Ed: "Yeah ... this is ... this ..."
Gary: "Hard to top this one."
Ed: "Yeah ... two timeouts. You’d like to have three, but you’ve got the ball, stops on the exchange of the kick. And, uh, Schlicher -- you need to get the ball to about the 30 yard line and, um, that’s all there is to it."
Gary: "13 4th quarter points engineered by young, redshirt freshman quarterback JaMarcus Russell and the Hawkeyes are down 26 ... er ... 25-24. Plenty of time, though, 46 seconds and two timeouts and Drew Tate at the controls. What Iowa needs, though to start the drive, is to get a good return on the kick."
Gary: "Jackson will boot it away. He’s been long and short today. Belleus and Sims back to catch at their 5. Here comes the run-up and it’s a high, end over end kick -- a good kick, backs Belleus up to the four. Starts up near the hash mark, gets to the 20, 25, jitterbugs across the 25 and makes it to the 28. Good return."
Ed: "Excellent return."
Gary: "39 seconds to go . Alright, the Hawks go 1st & 10, just shy of the 30-yard-line."
Ed: "You couldn’t have anyone cooler than Drew Tate."
Gary: "Nope."
Ed: "At the controls."
Gary: "Wanna get at least 40 yards to give Schlicher a legitimate shot. 30 yard line would make it a 40 to 50 yard try, but let’s hope Drew does better than that. Here we go. 1st & 10. Three wideouts for the Hawkeyes, including Chandler. Tate, back to pass, throws over the middle, it’s caught by Eddie Hinkel."
Ed: "Stop the clock."
Gary: "That’s 10. That should be enough for a 1st down, so they’ll stop the clock. Taking the underneath stuff until LSU commits more to covering that stuff. 33 seconds left in the game. Here’s Tate. They wind the clock, Drew’s gotta go, 30 seconds. Tate wants to throw left, comes back over the middle instead ..."
Ed: "Got him."
Gary: "He get him? Is it a catch?"
Ed: "It’s a catch, but it’s not a first down."
Gary: "Gotta call time out here."
Ed: "Call a time out."
Gary: "Gotta call a timeout, Drew! 15 seconds to go! Now, he spikes the ball ... oh, they cost themselves 5 or 6 seconds there."
Ed: "And they weren’t set. Everyone was moving."
Gary: "Oh boy.”
Official: “The ball was snapped, prior to the count of the play. 5 yards, repeat 1st down."
Gary: "Oh boy, oh boy. That was a BIG mistake. Big mistake. So, they lose five yards and another 6 seconds."
Ed: "Oh boy.
"
Gary: "Iowa has two timeouts left and let’s not forget, as great as Drew Tate has been this year, he’s still just a true sophomore."
Ed: "And he might’ve thought he had the 1st down. He might’ve thought that ball--"
Gary: "Now they gotta call timeout! They wind the clock! 9 seconds! The game’s gonna end on this play! Drew Tate doesn’t know that!"
Ed: "I ..."
Gary: "He fires down field. He has a man open! It’s caught and into the endzone!!!"
Ed: "Oh..."
Gary: "TOUCHDOWN! TOUCHDOWN IOWA!! TOUCHDOWN IOWA!! NO TIME ON THE CLOCK!! I DON’T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW! TOUCHDOWN IOWA! OH MY GOD, I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW!!
Yep/ We win. 30-25.
Note to Nick Saban:
Mental errors? No. You were the defending national champions and guess what? We beat you.
Deal with it, jackass,
Eibisch
Currently Reading: Genesis of the Pharaohs by Toby Wilkinson
Listening To: Evanescence
... I know the truth now, I know who you are ...
