It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Insanity
December 06, 2004 ... 12:04 a.m.
[watching La Bamba]
Eibisch: “Shhh.”
Bootsie: “Oh for ... you know how it ends. He dies!”
Pinball: “Well, thanks for ruining it for me!”
Oscar sent me the Phantom of the Opera movie soundtrack and I want to die.*
The orchestration is beautiful -- except for the electric guitar during the song “Phantom of the Opera”. Using the wah pedal (the hell?). The “Christine” actress is so off key/off pitch and ... oh, it’s just awful.
And Gerard Butler? He has a great ass, but it does not make up for his voice. He ... I ... just no. Dear God, no.
When I got the soundtrack, I immediately skipped ahead to play the “All I Ask of You” reprise, where the Phantom begins “I gave you my music...” For me, this is the make-or-break scene. This is where Phantom sees the woman (Andrew, you great git, she’s 19!!) he loves with the man she loves and he hates. His heart is shattered, he feels wounded and betrayed and then he gets a scosh pissed off and totally threatens their futures.
If you hear Michael Crawford sing this part and it doesn’t make you swallow a little harder and/or want to throw a Flaming Ball of Death at Christine, then you are an unfeeling robot and I don’t want to be your friend (I totally want to be your friend, I’m making a point).
As soon as I heard Gerard Butler doing it, all of my hopes for this film were dashed. He’s just stunningly awful. He sounds like a chain-smoking, acid-reflux-riddled, “Kids Wanna Rock”-era Bryan Adams in desperate need of Beano.
Oh, cruel fate, why dost thou despise me so?
*I listened to it again this morning. In the light of day, it is not quite so horrendous. In fact, upon repeated listening, it is becoming more and more palatable and, indeed, there is a small part where I prefer Gerard’s interpretation. She still sucks. I just need some time. Lots and lots of time.
I just finished printing out 24 copies of our Christmas letter [note to self: Holiday Card Exchange]. It says basically the same thing as last year’s. And the year before that. We are a boring people.
This is the second time I’ve printed out two dozen copies of the Letter O’ Boredom. The first stack disappeared when my sister began her Christmas decorating.
She decorates like a crack happy Christmas elf. Will Ferrell’s decorating in Elf? Elegant and subtle, comparatively.
Her motto: Tacky is the new tasteful.
This is our mantle (BEFORE she was finished, that garland lights up and the angels are sparkly).
These are our dinner plates (Help. Me.).
Ah. The tree ... a calm, peaceful oasis (of course, you can’t see my ELVIS ornament that plays “Blue Christmas”) ...
... until night falls ...
Aaarrgh! It’s one of the many stealth Santas!
There’s another. A singing one. A singing and dancing one. On my bathtub.
Even our vcr is decorated. Our VCR, people!
Well, the UIowa basketball team is ranked and on a roll. Yay! Still hate Captain Gel.
Whose overall record is 94-72, with 4 first-round NIT losses. In the same amount of time, the coach who was screwed let go in his favor had a record of 110-52, with four second-round NCAA losses and one NCAA Sweet 16 and one NCAA Elite 8.
Good choice.
Anyway, attendance at the games has been plummeting and a palpable sense of apathy surrounds the season. The players, mistakenly, think this is solely their fault. I disagree (Captain Gel, I’m looking at you). One of the players recently said “...We have to establish ourselves a little more, and I think more fans will come.”. I have a suggestion.
A car wash. Wearing only their trunks. It’s a little cold at the moment for such an endeavor. but I would pay good money for a wet, shorts-only clad Junior section hottie.
I just finished watching The Five People You Meet In Heaven. I liked the book and I enjoyed the movie. It’s in the same vein as It’s A Wonderful Life. I like that every life, no matter how seemingly insignificant, is somehow connected and meaningful to so many others.
I wonder whose, if anybody’s, life I have affected. Who would my five people be? Something to think about.
Currently Reading: A Citizen’s Guide to Democracy Inaction by Jon Stewart/Daily Show
Listening To: Phantom of the Opera movie soundtrack
...past the point of no return, the final threshold...
I am really warming to Gerard ... still a negative on Emmy.
