Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

That's ... Like ... 21 Years, Right?

October 29, 2004 ... 1:37 p.m.

Cousin#4: “When are either of you guys gonna get married and have kids?”
Bootsie: “I don’t think I’m emotionally ready for a child.”
Eibisch: “I don’t think I’m emotionally ready for a puppy.”

Things I have broken in the last 36 hours:

- Two mirrors
- Actually, three mirrors -- I broke my very favorite Elvis Presley mirror. Sob.
- My brand new digital camera that was storing many pictures from Wednesday’s Kerry rally. Including several of me with John Kerry, a couple of me with his daughter Alexandra, THREE of me with the adorable Ron Livingston and one of me with a Mr. Jon Bon Jovi, who did not sing “Bad Medicine” but is forgiven.
- My best hairbrush
- Eight, I kid you not, light bulbs
- One guitar string
- My, also brand new, TI-89 Titanium calculator
- The downstairs vcr remote
- Our dishwasher (I flung a pan of hot water and noodles, see below, inside the open door.)
- A shelf in the pantry that held all the beer
- Four cans of beer that began spewing immediately upon contact with the floor, drenching me in said beer. Which was excellent timing, as within the next 30 seconds, some church missionaries stopped by. That was fun.
- One of the jets in my whirlpool bathtub.
- And, finally, the garage door.

Things I have burned in the last 36 hours:

- My cheek, from a curling iron.
- My scalp, from a hair dryer.
- My ear, from a hot roller.
- Chicken
- My hand
- Bratwurst
- My stomach -- I was taking a pan of noodles to the sink and the strainer, and I think I slipped, and spilled scalding water all down my front. It wasn’t all that pleasant. I threw that pan down into the dishwasher.

Damn mirrors.

The rally was a blast. I went early to help, but ended up not having much to do, so I did some crossword puzzles. I met Ron Livingston doing that. He said something smart to me about the quality of help, I just looked at him and said “You get what you pay for”. He looked a little taken aback, so I complimented him on Band of Brothers. He guessed that my favorite was Winters, but I told him my favorite was Speirs (rawr). I guess that surprised him. Or maybe he thought I had been bluffing. Thank goodness “The Practice” didn’t come up, because his character was such an ass that I stopped watching the entire show midway through his first episode.

John Kerry was friendly, as he needs to be, and quite funny. He is nowhere near as charismatic as Clinton. I don’t know if anyone has been born yet that has his amount of charisma. Which is not to say Kerry is entirely devoid of charm. He is not, but he has a more “real” vibe than Clinton. Like you could invite Kerry over for pizza and beer during the game and actually, you know, watch the game. Whereas, with Clinton, you wouldn’t get through the first quarter with your pants on.

Maybe that’s just me.

Jon Bon Jovi was nice, but not as friendly as Ron. There are a couple of obvious reasons for this, in my opinion -- Ron is from Iowa. Marion, specifically. Which is, basically, a suburb of Cedar Rapids. And, two, while Ron is a fairly successful actor, Jon is a bona fide rock star. If Jon stopped in place for more than a few seconds, he was mobbed. He wasn’t unfriendly at all, he just seemed busy and/or hyperactive.

I’m sorry, I know politics doesn’t often make good diary fodder, but I live in Iowa. Only if you live in a “swing state” can you possibly understand. We are bombarded with political stuff on a daily, often hourly, basis. At MINIMUM, every other commercial is for a politician. Not just on tv, but on the radio and not just Kerry or Bush -- senators, congressmen, state AND local. We get between 4 and 6 calls every night -- without fail -- from the parties of the presidential candidates. I got a recorded phone call from Caroline Kennedy 20 minutes ago. Volunteers come to my house 3 times a week, no less, sometimes more. And the mail? Lord, the mail! As a registered Democrat, not a day goes by without me receiving 3 or more letters or flyers. My mom and sister are registered Independents, so they receive mail/calls/visits from both parties, plus Ralph Nader.

Since the caucuses, John Kerry has spent 90+ days here. Apparently, he thinks the heartland is somewhat important. Bush, on the other hand, deigns to visit the hinterland only when he attempts damage control.

Day in, day out it is politics. And I’m not even an ardent activist. I support Kerry, I’ve gone to two rallies and volunteered at one. I voted for Bush in ’00 (yes, I am terribly sorry) and I went to one of his speeches. Before the barricades and credit checks and DNA samples and blood oaths. But I am not stridently political, so I can’t imagine what that would be like here.

Of course, once Nov. 2 rolls around (provided Florida heeds their four warnings from God** and votes for a clear winner) and all the political ads are gone, they will be replaced with fertilizer and weed killer commercials. Throw in a few Farm & Fleet commercials and everyone in ~~the hinterlands~~ Iowa knows it’s basketball season.

** It's a joke.

Did y’all see “Lost” this week?

Remember my sorta - kinda - not really IN with Elijah Wood?

I totally got a shout out (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it) from his former costar and good buddy, Dominic Monaghan. As his character was standing on a beehive...

AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!

...and bees are swarming on him...

AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!

...he said “I have an irrational fear of bees.” Oh, Charlie. I closed my eyes at the first hint of buzzing and, by the time the hive broke (God help me), you couldn’t have pried them open with a crow bar. But I bet he looked cute. Panicky, but cute. Until the bees came into frame. Because, honestly, not even Pooh can save a camera shot with winged, stinging creatures.

Dominic ... call me.

Currently Reading: Six Questions of Socrates by Christopher Phillips

Listening To: Very Best of Stone Roses
...I wanna be adored, you adore me...

Have a happy day!

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