Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

It's Big For CR

October 26, 2004 ... 2:33 a.m.

Oscar: “Eibisch, you are so weird I don’t know how you function.”

I am back. Commence rejoicing.

That’s enough.

I am in a much better place now and I will tell you why.

On Wednesday, John Kerry will have a rally in Cedar Rapids. I will be there. In fact, I am volunteering for the rally. I was told there would be “surprise music guests”. Mm-hmm. Last time they told me that, we got Carole King.

Which is, you know, whatever. She does sing.

But Wednesday, oh, Wednesday ... wanna know who’ll be here?

Huh?

Do ya? Do ya?

JON BON--FREAKIN--JOVI!!!!

Nobody ever comes to Iowa!

God, I love this election!!! Pull out the big guns, John, I don’t remember Springsteen in good ol’ CR. I could totally go for a Jersey boy night--a little Bon Jovi, with a Springsteen chaser.

I’ll try to get photos. I think I’ll be allowed as this is a Kerry rally and not a Bush one -- where I’d have to swear an oath of allegiance in blood, sign away my firstborn, try to snap a photo, get tackled, beaten with a ~~not so~~ clever campaign sign, locked in a dank underground dungeon as a terrorist under the broad scope of the truly terrifying Patriot Act, fed only peas, with only one book -- undoubtedly Catcher in the Rye -- in my pit, kept away from family and friends and email and Elvis until I go stark raving mad, finally read that despised book again and am reprogrammed and unleashed on an unsuspecting public, sent on a mission to kill John Edwards. in Dallas, after 1000 days in office (Edwards having succeeded John Kerry’s eight years) as that is the Cheney-fied right’s only chance of a resurgence in power.

Or, hey, the Saudis will just buy the election for Dubya, again and we will all be living in dank pits

A little more election stuff ...

Last Sunday, somebody wrote a Letter to the Editor and this is not an exact replica, but this is what the guy wrote ...

When you go to vote, think about who Kim Il Sung of North Korea, the Iranians and the Syrians would want you to vote for. Vote against the what the tyrants want. An intelligent, thinking voter must vote for the strong leadership of George W. Bush.

Yeah. I wrote my own letter, pointing out these facts ...

1. -- I don’t think Kim Il Sung has a vested interest in this election, what with him being dead for 10 years and all. Dude, you’re watching too much M*A*S*H.

2. -- I’d be willing to bet, however, Kim Il Sung’s son, Kim Jong Il -- you know, North Korea's tyrant of over a decade would like another four years of being virtually ignored by the Bush administration. Makes producing and stockpiling actual WMDs that much easier.

3. -- Read a recent newspaper, you dolt, Iran publicly announced that they want Bush reelected.

4. -- I’m pretty sure that just about all of the “evil doers” in the world, with the exception of those located in Iraq, would welcome another 4 years of being disregarded. You know, so they can keep on keeping on ... with their, um, evil doer-ness intact.

5. -- Perhaps, when we go to the polls, we should also ponder the interests of Joseph Stalin, Idi Amin, Ho Chi Minh and the Marquis de Sade.

6. -- Kim Il Sung? Kim Il Sung?! SUNG??? You stay away from the voting booth. You have lost your voting privileges. Okay, no you didn’t, because idiocy is not a felony. But it should be.

These are people voting for Bush ... I am just stunned by the idiocy.

How ‘but them Red Sox?

Snerk

I like baseball. And the BoSox are my team. Although, on the scale of favorite sports, baseball is pretty much filler between football and basketball. And, really, I originally became a Boston fan simply because of my deep hatred for the Yankees.

In other news, I just downloaded the Ashleeee Simpson LipSynchGate video file. What a hack. Saw her on the Radio Music Awards. Still not impressed. Still not a fan. And, honey, please stop with the “I’m so punk” crap. You look like a Barbie that has had one too many encounters with a radiator, you’re Jessica’s sister, a Ramone’s tee does not give you automatic punk cred and, judging from that awful skirt, you’re punk role model is Avril.

Just stop. Shh -- you go bye-bye now.

-----

I also downloaded Jon Stewart’s now-legendary Crossfire appearance. That was some good t.v. And I saw it live. Because I love news channels. News channels, Discovery channels, History channels and the Food Network -- that’s my rotation. Anyway, I saw it, I loved it, I downloaded it. Tucker & Begala were shocked. I mean, really, who knew Jon Stewart was intelligent? I mean, besides everyone who has ever heard the man speak for longer than 40 seconds?

That was so great.

Currently Reading: Six Questions of Socrates by Christopher Phillips

Listening To: Buddy Holly Greatest Hits
...just remember, all birds and bees go by twos through life’s mysteries...

Have a happy day!

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