Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

Under Pressure

April 21, 2003 ... 12:46 p.m.

Under Pressure

[watching The Ten Commandments, the pestilence/death of firstborn part]
Bootsie: “You just know that was an early form of SARS.”

We’ve been doing a genealogical dig of sorts here. My grandparents gave us all of their old pictures--and I mean old--one of them is of my great-grandpa as a baby with HIS grandmother. It’s neat to go through all the names and notice how many Isabellas we’ve had. With spelling variations, we’ve counted 93 thus far. Although we couldn’t technically include her, my great aunt was named June Isabell. The "a" makes a lot of difference, you know. I’m a dork, leave me alone.

Also we found an old letter that my great-grandmother wrote describing June, who died at one day old, as "a good baby" who had a lot of "black hair". Yes! I knew I wasn’t the milkman’s! She was 1 of 5 (including my grandpa) and all the others were blue-eyed blonds.

Well, that was interesting, eh?

Once again, die familie von Eibisch played Trivial Pursuit.....

[Mom is the question/answer lady]

Q: "What prophetic series, pitting the Tribulation Force against the evil Nicolae Carpathia, has sold over 40 million copies world?"
Eibisch: *spews Mt. Dew in indignation over the question not being mine*
Bootsie: "Um...uh..."
Eibisch: *chokes on answer*
Bootsie: "Um...oh! The Hardy Boys!"
Eibisch: *has aneurysm*
A: "Left Behind."

Q: "What noted Italian author has written such page-turners as Semiotics and the Philosophy of Language and Kant and the Platypus?"
Eibisch: *grumbles about Left Behind question*
Mom: *begins singing ‘Jeopardy’ theme*
Eibisch: "Sophia Loren."
A: "Umberto Eco."
Eibisch: "Ah, yes. Of course, Umberto! He was my second choice."

Q: "What rapper said of using a ghostwriter for his autobiography ‘I don’t know the right words to word stuff’?"
Bootsie: "Let’s try...Tupac?"
A: "Vanilla Ice"
Bootsie: "I guess, if that’s what they call a rapper."
Eibisch: "Yeah! He couldn’t even find an original bass line for his one hit!"
Mom: "I didn’t write the..."
Bootsie/Eibisch: "Stop! Collaborate and listen. Ice is back with a brand new invention...*both do entire song*...yo man let’s get out of here--word to your mother, ice ice baby."
Mom "Well, that was disturbing."

Q: "What Egyptian structure weighs 17 times as much as the Great Pyramid of Cheops?"
Eibisch: "The Sphinx."
A: "The Aswan High Dam."
Eibisch: "I don’t think that’s right. I’m gonna stick with The Sphinx."

Q: "What fuel does Los Angeles’ LAX airport create from leftover food and convert into electricity?"
Bootsie: "Um..."
Mom: "It stinks. Think Mt. Trashmore."
Bootsie: "Coal?"
A: "Methane."
Bootsie: "Huh?"
Eibisch: "You know, methane. It’s what cows belch."
Family: "..."
Eibisch: "And, sometimes, they explode."
Family: "..."
Eibisch: "What? They do!"
Family: "..."
Eibisch: "And sheep, too!"
Le Prince: "Why do you know that?”

Q: "What Asian city lures night owls to a famed red-light district called Patpong?"
Eibisch: "Bangkok."
Mom: "How did you know that?"
Eibisch: "What? I didn’t hear the question."

Q: "What university’s crack genetics team bred the first mice with deliberately enlarged prostates?"
Bootsie: "Sounds like something Texas would do...so I’m gonna say Harvard."
A: "Harvard."

Q: "What Spanish term..."
Eibisch: *bangs head on table*
Q: "Ahem. What Spanish term for ‘on fire’ do ESPN announcers often invoke?"
Eibisch: "En fuego."
Mom: "Yes! See? Spanish class worked!"
Eibisch: "No, Sportscenter worked."

Q: "What Middle Eastern capital curiously bills itself as ‘the Paris of the Orient’?"
Bootsie: "China."
Eibisch: *starts laughing hysterically*
A: "Beirut."
Eibisch: "Bwahahahahaha ... China! ... hahahahaha ..."
Family: *all staring at Eibisch*
Eibisch: *still laughing and now crying* “... China ... hahaha ... Beirut ... hahaha ... PARIS ... BWAHAHAHA! ..."
Family: *continue staring at Eibisch*
Mom: "She’s going to burst an aneurysm and die."
Eibisch: *still laughing* “... haha ... there was this guy ... hahaha ... and he was a painter ... hahaha ... and he laughed so hard at his painting ... hahaha ... he burst a blood vessel ... hahaha ... and he ... hahaha ... he ... haha ... he DIED ... hahahahaha ..."
Family: *resume staring at Eibisch*
Eibisch: *begins to calm down*
Le Prince: "What is wrong with you?"
Eibisch: *once again in hysterics, falls off chair*

Well. You can’t say you never learn anything here at Eibisch’s.

Good times, good times!

You know...this may be why I’m still single. Hmm...

Currently Reading:
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown

Listening To: Stop by The Plain White T’s
...He's just another little punk like the rest of them, the kid's just another tool...

~*~

Have a happy day!

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