Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

Eibisch FAQ, Take 2

October 11, 2002 ... 2:04 p.m.

Eibisch FAQ, Take 2

Okay. Time for Eibisch FAQ #2.

11. What are you trying to accomplish with your journal?
Well, like I said before, I mostly like the temporary escapism. I also originally thought this was an interesting way that my online pals could get to know me a little.

12. Do you care if people you really know read this?
No, I don't think so. I’m the most computer savvy of my friends and family (scary, huh?), so I don’t think any of them even know there is an online diarist community. One of my rl friends did stumble in, but I had accidentally let some hints escape. She lives in Kentucky now. I don’t think I want my sister or mom reading it, though. It’d be just too much not to have one outlet.

13. Why do you hate snow? It’s fun!/It’s pretty!
Yeah, it’s pretty. For about 3 minutes after it falls it’s all “Currier & Ives.” And then it turns dirty and slushy and it’s cold and wet and a lot of the time it’s heavy. Why do you think people literally die while shoveling snow? As for “fun”? Okay, yeah, snowball fights and snowmen are fun. But so is Waikiki.

14. I get the whole pseudonym thing, but why are your cousins just numbers? How many are there?
Hmmm. Good question. It’s just easier to for me to keep them straight. I’ll give you a quick rundown.
Cousin #1--31, male, single (living with gf), father to Brittany (aka The Smart One--who is not smart)
Cousin #2--30, male, single, UBER Christian (he makes Billy Graham look like Howard Stern)
Cousin #3--27, female, married, recently gave up “Evil Witch” persona/born again Christian
Cousin #4, 23, female, married, mom to Michaela (aka TheCuteBaby--who is cute), 1 on the way, uber Christian
Cousin #5, 23, female, possibly engaged (been engaged 5 times to four men in the last 2 years), professes to be very Christian, extremely two-faced

Got it? They are my maternal cousins and they are all tall, blue-eyed and blond. I kid you not.

15. What’s up with your dad? You never talk about him.
I think I have mentioned him. My parents divorced when I was young. My father has not been a figure in my life, by his choice. Um...I did get my brown eyes from him.

16. Do you come across in person as you do in your journal?/Is your journal an accurate representation of you personally?
Uhh...another good one. I think it’s fairly accurate. That’s a cop-out, isn’t it? I think the last few entries had a tad more snarkiness than most of my previous entries. That is definitely more me. I can be quite snarky. I guess I’m still a little inhibited by the fact that some people who read my journal might be a little more judgmental....or something. Not like “You’ll burn in Hell” judgmental. More like “I don’t want to be your friend anymore, freak” judgmental.

17. What are the differences from your journal and real life?
I rarely swear in rl and I try not to do it much in my journal. Oh, I do swear once in a while, I won’t lie. I haven’t had a good one in forever but, man, I love Mai-Tais. Um...what else? I talk a lot in rl. A. LOT. And the amount of my writing doesn’t begin to approach the amount of time I spend chattering. I don’t think I’m quite as goody-goody as I can come off in the journal. Maybe I just like to think I’m not.

Eh. I’m tired of questions now. Oh, I totally scared the crap out of my sister yesterday morning.

WARNING: the next section contains writing and visual imagery that may not be appropriate for younger or squeamish readers.

I didn’t have to work, but I got up early anyway. Our bathroom has linoleum tile. Well, there was a bunch of water on the floor and I slipped and smacked my left hand on a metal chair (actually, a step-stool). Um. Ow. I jerked my hand from the offending chair and...blood. Everywhere. On me, on the floor, on the chair, all over. Pouring from my thumb. I calmly call out “Bootsie? I need a rag.”

See, I’m totally calm in these kind of situations. (Someday I’ll tell you about fracturing my nose with a French Horn. Seriously.)
Wasps in my window = panic.
Bodily injury = no sweat.

Anyway, she came in to see what the problem was. I lifted my hand, with blood streaming down my arm and she freaked. She kept saying “Oh God. Oh God.” over and over and telling me not to panic. I was like what? I was just sitting there waiting for a rag, not panicking. Couldn’t see what happened, because I couldn’t get it to stop bleeding long enough. To get it to stop I had to fix a rubber band around the base of my thumb, like a tourniquet. I am so MacGyver. Put on three band-aids. Took off the rubber band. Bled through the band-aids.

Now you might think I would have thought to go to the hospital. Because, much like Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor, I have my own room in the ER. But, no. My sister wanted to take me. I scoffed. Yes, I actually scoffed and proceeded to inform her that “It’s only a flesh wound.”

Ah ha ha ha ha! Flesh wound! Monty Python! Ah ha ha ha ha! Nee!

Ahem. Okay. Put the rubber band back on and leave it on. Put on two band-aids. Problem solved! When mom comes home I show her my now black thumb (Yes, I remembered to take off the rubber band! It bruised.) and pulled off the band-aids. Finally, I could see what had happened. Ripped a “U” shaped section in my thumb and, somehow, managed to puncture it. I don’t know how. I don’t know on what, but that puncture must have been why it bled so much. It looks nasty. Actually, it looks oddly like a Nike swoosh.

Damn Nike and their corporate sponsorship greed!

Mom said I probably needed a couple of stitches, especially since I resorted to using a rubber band, and should've gone to the hospital.

Good times!

Football tomorrow. ESPN. 11:00 am (CST). Michigan State. Watch us kick ass! Watch our kicker! We have an awesome kicker, he’s made something like 13 consecutive field goals. And has made field goals from 50+ yards.

Basketball tonight. 11:35 pm. Local. Woo. First practice. Hey! You know how I hate Captain Gel? And his “when I went to Indiana” shtick? The Hawkeye uniforms, in an effort to strengthen team unity, will no longer have the player’s last names on them.

Never had a problem with team unity Pre-Captain Gel. Even with last names on the jerseys. But, whatever.

Oh! You know what I just realized? Only one other Big Ten team does the no-last name thing. Guess who? That’s right. Indiana! You could’ve knocked me over with a feather when I heard Captain Gel was taking a page out of Indian’s book. Did not see that one coming! Nope. No sirree, Bob. Not by a long shot. I mean, Indiana. Wow.

Are you getting my sarcasm? Because I’m laying it on pretty thick.

Currently Reading: The Memoirs of Cleopatra by Margaret George

Listening To: The Best of Tommy James and the Shondelles According To Eibisch (you're nobody until you have a “Best Of...According to Eibisch!)

~*~

Have a happy day!

7 ... 8