Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

Maybe I Complain To Much

October 2002 ... 11:05 p.m.

Maybe I Complain To Much

Eh.

Do you know why television has censors?
Do you know why there is a magazine called ‘Rolling Stone’?
Do you know why there is a network called MTV?

ELVIS is why!

That’s right!

Before anyone did anything, ELVIS did everything!

I love that commercial.

Speaking of Elvis.......

My friend, Robin, is perpetually trying to hook me up. Always with the “I work with this guy...” lines. Well, a group of us got together at the IHOP.

Yay, it’s open! Yay!

Anyway, Robin brought some people from work, including “Dave.” Dave was not bad looking. I mean, we’re not talking Jon Seda or anything, but he was okay. But then he spoke. First off he says he can see why Robin hangs with me--I make her look good. Whoa there, Nelly! Okay first, I am so cute I can barely stand myself sometimes. And I’m modest. Secondly, yeah okay--most of my girl friends are 5’8” or taller and blue-eyed blonds. So is my sister. So what? Maybe I hang with them because they make me look better! Think about it. Who stands out more? Hmm? 10 blond, blue-eyed 5’8” or the 5’3” gal with the atypical black hair? Eh? Who are you gonna notice? Me or the Fembots?

Never mind.

ANYway, the whole almost-3 hours we’re all there, Dave is rude and insulting to everyone--not just me. I just held my tongue. I don’t have a clue why Robin thought I would want to spend any time with this guy. She must mentioned setting us up because, at the end of dinner, he leaned over the table and said [verbatim] “I wouldn’t date you if you were the last woman on the planet. I’d rather date my cousin.”

Oh, bite me. What a jerk.

When he sat back down with a self-congratulatory smirk on his face, I leaned over and said “That’s okay, I’d rather wait for Elvis to rise from the dead. [Dave starts to say something, but I continue] In essence, I’d prefer a 25-year-old rotting corpse to you.”

Smile sweetly. Sit back down. Enjoy stunned look on Dave’s face. 10 for execution.

Why, yes. I DO Rock!

Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. I may have been to harsh. I might have deeply hurt his feelings. I might have emotionally traumatized him.

I’ll let you know if I lose any sleep over it.

More basketball rumors. Someone in academic trouble. Former player in trouble. Someone possibly transferring out. I do know whether someone is leaving, but I shouldn’t really say one way or the other. Neither confirm nor deny.

So, have you been keeping up with the A l f o r d Era Casualty list? Let’s not mention all the players who transferred, quit or were removed from the team since Captain Gel came aboard. Let’s not talk about the shoddy public treatment some players have received. Let’s not talk about intentionally ignored injuries that could or did lead to more serious injuries. Let’s not talk about the names he has called certain players in the media. Let’s not talk about his “Bobby Knight Lite” behaviors. Let’s not talk about the many idiotic and embarrassing things he does or says every time he gets on tv. Got a wee bit carried away there. Let’s just stick with the 2002-2003 season, shall we? The season that hasn't even begun yet! Okay.

-incoming junior leaves
-big time redshirt freshman leaves
-big time freshman recruit leaves
-incoming junior (did have five) busted for possession of marijuana.
-incoming junior ticketed for underage alcohol possession. I feel compelled to add that, by most accounts, the beer was not his. But, in Iowa City, you can be charged if you are within arm’s length.
-redshirt freshman ruled academically ineligible
-heavily recruited incoming freshman academically ineligible
-major sophomore contributor charged with sexual assault.

That’s all the big stuff...for now. I could tell you all the little (and not so little) things but I just get so mad. And the Athletic Director is firmly in Captain Gel’s corner. What?!?!? You kicked out the winningest coach in Iowa bball history after 13 seasons, a coach who brought nothing but class and grace to this program and who built a solid foundation of players who learned the basics of the game and worked their butts off each and every game. So what if they weren’t blue chips? I’ll still take Ryan Bowen over Raef LaFrentz any day of the week!

And again with the getting carried away!

You can’t tell I’m really into basketball, can you?

During the IOWA and Purdue football game........

[camera pans crowd, zooms in on Dave Grohl look-alike]

Eibisch: Why is Dave Grohl wearing an Iowa t-shirt?
Bootsie: *rolls eyes*
Eibisch: Because he has good taste in football! Yeah, baby!
Bootsie & Eibisch: *hysterical laughter*

several minutes of uncontrollable laughter later

Mom: Just how much Mountain Dew have you had today?

Good times, good times

Don’t worry. Another Eibisch FAQ is on the way.

Currently Reading: The Memoirs of Cleopatra by Margaret George

Listening To: Bee Gees: One Night Only (I keep telling you all that I’m a dork, why are you so surprised?)

~*~

Have a happy day!

7 ... 8