Before you know it, you're the crazy cat lady in the scary house

T.G.I.S.!

June 22, 2002 ... 11:18 a.m.

T.G.I.S.! (Thank goodness it‘s Saturday!)

I know, I know--you were going to call the Cedar Rapids Police to do a welfare check on me. Except that you realized that you don’t know my real name.

Or where I live.

So you didn’t call.

But that’s okay because our police force is like a better looking bunch of Keystone Cops. Seriously. Even my good pal, Officer Jim (who is a police officer--didn’t see that coming, did you?), jokes about it. They can’t solve a bank robbery to save their lives and can only solve a murder if the killer left a bloody trail of footprints to their own home ( I’m very serious--a high school friend of Bootsie’s was murdered and the SOB left a bloody trail of footprints to his apartment). My old van was broken into, windows smashed, stereo ripped out and I called the police. They did not even come out to look. They said, and I quote, “Okay. You can turn it into your insurance now.” Gee. Thanks. Hope you didn’t break a sweat there, Officer Friendly.

I’m going to see Lilo & Stitch this afternoon. Yay! The soundtrack has a ton of Elvis! Yay! Then we’re going out to eat at a place that has amazing cheesecake. Yay! I’m taking Le Prince so I don’t have another dork debacle. Speaking of VeggieTales...I got the “Ultimate Silly Songs” and “Larry Boy and the Fib from Outer Space.” I went to the Christian bookstore and the same lady was there and we chatted about Russia and adoption, etc. She asked if he liked VeggieTales as I put the videos on the counter. He’d never seen them, and not wanting to lie but not really wanting to tell the truth, I said “I’m a little old for them, don’t ya think? Ha. Ha.” She laughed, too. Then she showed Le Prince a Bob the Tomato figure and he said “No. Thank you. No hungry.”

B.U.S.T.E.D.!

I’ve gotta find another Christian bookstore.

So I skulked back to the car. On our way home, Le Prince decided to treat me to his rendition of “Do Wah Diddy.” He wasn’t too bad. He could only sing along with the “do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do” and the echoed (“she’s mine...she’s mine”) parts. And the rest of the song, he would insert random English words to the tune. “Toilet,” “computer” and “dork” were fairly common lyrics.

Bootsie moved my weight bench to the deck. So that I can work out...AND get a tan. Yeah, that’ll happen. Friends, I look a bit like Snow White. I have near-black hair and very, very, very pale skin. I have to put on like SPF 75 to walk out to the mailbox or...*poof*...I’m a cinder.

Well, Cousin #1’s girlfriend was supposed to have an ultrasound yesterday, but I haven’t heard. He has a daughter, she has a son and daughter. He obsessively wants a son. So obsessively that he won’t even consider that it might be another girl. Not a consideration.

I’m going to go now. Lilo & Stitch, Elvis and cheesecake! Could this day be more fun? Only if Jon Seda was thrown in the mix.

~*~

Have a happy day!

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